(This one’s for anyone who’s lives in a five bedroom, one bath house).
It’s seven fifty-five
And I work at eight.
He’s the only reason
That I’m always late.
He used up the hot water
But he doesn’t care.
He gets back in the shower.
He forgot to wash his hair.
My bathroom nemesis
Taking his daily bowel exodus!
He thinks that it’s his destiny
To be the only one to pee!
My bathroom enemy.
One I day got the flu.
I was puking for days,
I couldn’t use the bathroom
‘Cause of what’s-his-face.
At midnight I snuck in
To go number two.
We’re out of toilet paper.
Oh yeah! Guess who?
My bathroom adversary
Taking longer than necessary.
He thinks that it’s his destiny
To be the only one to pee.
My bathroom enemy!
I haven’t bathed in eighteen days.
I just can’t get around this guy.
I’ve has enough. I’ll show him
A brand new bathroom in the sky!
And when he’s dead
We’ll think we’re saved,
But the corpse will miss the burial
‘Cause he still hasn’t shaved!
My bathroom supervillain,
On the procelain throne, just chillin’.
Turns out it’s not his destiny
To be the only one to pee.
The other roommates worship me
‘Cause I killed my bathroom enemy!
The Daily Travesty 