Look at me! Look at me!
And see what I can do!
I guarantee my specialty
Will truly amaze you.
Look at me! Look at me!
I am the very best
At getting your attention
When you’d prefer to rest.
Look at me! Look at me!
Let’s pull an all-nighter
‘Cause bonding time (and being fed)
Makes our family tighter.
Look at me! Look at me!
I’m the greatest kid available,
And when bidding starts at $10.99
My value’s unassailable.
Look at me just one last time
As you mail this box away.
I’m sorry that I cried so much
You sold me on Ebay.
The Daily Travesty 