Tag Archives: Shopping

But Honey… We Have Needs

Sometimes we go shopping

Because we have needs

Like cardamom, five-spice,

And sunflower seeds,

A packet of seaweed

And kale-chips-ahoy!

Perhaps we might splurge

For a mint-in-box toy.

When we feel spendy

Perhaps we will pounce

On a bottle of wine

That we cannot pronounce

And then at the end

We’ll return home again

And eat yesterday’s ramen

Because we are men.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Why Amazon Makes Billions A Day

Sam was 28 years old,

Had never seen the sun,

Had never eaten chocolate,

Never had any fun,

Had never hugged a puppy

And got stung by a bee

And he’s telling the cashier about it

Right in front of me…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Father of the Bride

Fluff and foof,

Foam and poof.

Through the roof:

White or gray?

Peach or Monet?

Pay and pay:

We’ve got a year

To pick the dress

We’ve seen the glory

And the mess.

Dad’s in the car

Waiting for the yes

That brings the end

Of shopping.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Voyage to the Mall

The fruit loomed above me
As I Dockered the ship
On some Banana Republic
That smelled of Geoffrey Bean dip.

I rubbed my old fencing wound
Out of sight of the fella’s
That I got when I failed
A parry with Ellis.

The weather was silky,
A tres Calvin Clime,
And this old Navy man
Filled his coconut with lime.

But after I’d dithered
For three stanzas or so
I purchased some stuff.
That’s how shopping trips go.

1 Comment

Filed under Poems

On E-Commerce and Responsibility

I bought a pony on Ebay
Just to see if I could.

I shipped it via UPS air
Just to see if they would.

I let the post office guys take care of it
Figuring the work would do them good.

Even though you get away with stuff
Doesn’t mean you should.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Pillow Fight

I just wanted to buy a mattress
And maybe a duvet,
Just make a couple purchases
And then be on my way.

Alas, my shopping journey
Couldn’t just go right.
Instead I had to witness
A brutal pillow fight.

It started with some shuffling
And a bit of pillow fluffing,
But then the pillowcases came off
As they tried to show their stuffing.

Finally the fight was done,
Feathers spilt and shedding.
Next time I’ll be prepared
When I try to buy some bedding.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems