Tag Archives: Black Humor

It’s 11:48 And I’m A Horrible Person

Today I cut onions

And everyone cried.

Onions was a good dog;

It’s a shame that he died.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Imagery (You’re Welcome)

I have trouble sleeping now

Because I had a dream

Involving my first cousin

And a gallon of whipped cream.

If you don’t think that’s creepy

Here’s the cherry on the top:

I live in Mississippi

So my cousin is my pop.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The American Dream

Imagine a world

With doubt, fear, or hate,

Where all have a warm bed

And a full dinner plate,

Where soft is the water

And fertile the soil.

Now let’s bomb that place

And steal their oil!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Pet Peeves

Sometimes when I get frustrated

I throw my mouse at the floor.

After I get frustrated

I can’t go to that vet anymore.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Diversity

Some folks are really heavy

And some are very thin.

Some have different genitals

And different colored skin.

There’s lots of types of accents,

Many different colored hairs

But everybody’s equal

When you push ’em down the stairs.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Canadian Muslim Problems

In December I sat on a frozen lake

And fished for rainbow trout.

The next two months I did the same

‘Cause that’s what I’m about.

This Summer I’m vacationing

Somewhere in the Maldives.

I know there’s no ice-fishing there

But I can avoid my 28 wives.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

But Why?

The road told the rooster

“You look like a hen.”

The rooster killed the road’s family

And it never crossed the chicken again.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems