Harvey Weinstein, Pablo Escobar, and Joe Biden walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Let me guess… you want me to put it in my body or I’ll never work again?”
Tag Archives: Black Humor
When The School Counselor Gives Up
Just because last time you jumped
You injured yourself in the fall
Doesn’t mean you’ll be mistaken
If you once again give it your all.
Just because last time the verdict
Did not go the way you intended
Does not mean your life will be better
If you avoid being offended.
Just because pain is eternal
Doesn’t mean you should quit having fun.
Don’t be a fool! Get up! Go to school!
And oh, by the way, here’s a gun.
Filed under Poems
Thinking Ahead
Today I want to teach you
How to preemptively retort:
This poem is like your penis
So you can’t complain it’s short.
Filed under Poems
Saving At The Pump
I met a lady buying gas
Who said her name was Penny.
There were ladies prettier,
But surely not too many.
As she was about to finish
Putting gas into her car
I saw her pull a lighter out
To ignite a cigar.
I rushed over and tackled her
Before the fire could start.
I explained why such a plan
Was neither safe nor smart.
I wish I could say that she
Would one day be my wife
Because I had wits quick enough
To save my Penny’s life…
But alas, the very next day
I wasn’t there, and she burned.
At least her cremation was free;
A Penny saved, a Penny urned.
Filed under Poems
After Colonoscopy Comes Horoscopy
The nurse said “I’m Aquarius!”
The lab tech said “I’m Virgo!”
I said “I’m a Cancer!”
The doctor said “I know.”
Filed under Poems
Before Chad And Karen, There Was This Guy
Just because his name is Curtis
Doesn’t mean that he is curt.
Just because her name is Cindy
Doesn’t mean that she’s a sinner.
Just because my name is Dick
Doesn’t mean I feelings hurt.
Now where, my wifey dearest,
Is my mother****ing dinner?
Filed under Poems
The Minority Excel
Plenty of folks can come up with jokes,
But fewer deliver them well,
Many a person can think up a product,
But few of those products can sell,
A whole host can fail at many endeavors
But few of them fail with grace,
And prisons are full of a criminal plenty
But most of them share the same race.
Filed under Poems
Ode To A Forgotten Black Hero
I think the worst injustice
That we tolerate these days
Is how we abuse the roads
In a variety of ways.
We hit the road so often,
Pound the pavement, and it’s clear
That the roads get walked all over
And quitting time is near.
We’d never stab our children,
But we stick forks in the road
Then expect it to hold on
While it carries our giant load.
It’s time to give the streets a break…
Oops! I mean let them rest!
Anyway, quit using roads
Because that’s for the best.
Filed under Poems
It’s Not About Race; It’s About Culture
Deep in the woods by a little green lake
Lived a man who had never been sad.
His life was just joy from the start to today,
Never once punctuated by bad.
He called the birds and the frogs company
And sang to the wood he would stack…
But all of that changed when he saw CNN
And learned what it meant to be black:
He learned that despite being happy and free
His life was defined by oppression
And how being equal to everyone else
Was the only worthwhile obsession.
He was overwhelmed, shocked even, until
He heard an inspiring call:
He realized he hadn’t voted for Biden
And thus wasn’t black after all!
Filed under Poems
