Tag Archives: Black Humor

Joke of the Day

Harvey Weinstein, Pablo Escobar, and Joe Biden walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Let me guess… you want me to put it in my body or I’ll never work again?”

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When The School Counselor Gives Up

Just because last time you jumped

You injured yourself in the fall

Doesn’t mean you’ll be mistaken

If you once again give it your all.

Just because last time the verdict

Did not go the way you intended

Does not mean your life will be better

If you avoid being offended.

Just because pain is eternal

Doesn’t mean you should quit having fun.

Don’t be a fool! Get up! Go to school!

And oh, by the way, here’s a gun.

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Thinking Ahead

Today I want to teach you

How to preemptively retort:

This poem is like your penis

So you can’t complain it’s short.

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Saving At The Pump

I met a lady buying gas

Who said her name was Penny.

There were ladies prettier,

But surely not too many.

As she was about to finish

Putting gas into her car

I saw her pull a lighter out

To ignite a cigar.

I rushed over and tackled her

Before the fire could start.

I explained why such a plan

Was neither safe nor smart.

I wish I could say that she

Would one day be my wife

Because I had wits quick enough

To save my Penny’s life…

But alas, the very next day

I wasn’t there, and she burned.

At least her cremation was free;

A Penny saved, a Penny urned.

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After Colonoscopy Comes Horoscopy

The nurse said “I’m Aquarius!”

The lab tech said “I’m Virgo!”

I said “I’m a Cancer!”

The doctor said “I know.”

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Poor Guy…

I think if you want

Your kid to not be pitied

Name him “Nography.”

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Before Chad And Karen, There Was This Guy

Just because his name is Curtis

Doesn’t mean that he is curt.

Just because her name is Cindy

Doesn’t mean that she’s a sinner.

Just because my name is Dick

Doesn’t mean I feelings hurt.

Now where, my wifey dearest,

Is my mother****ing dinner?

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The Minority Excel

Plenty of folks can come up with jokes,

But fewer deliver them well,

Many a person can think up a product,

But few of those products can sell,

A whole host can fail at many endeavors

But few of them fail with grace,

And prisons are full of a criminal plenty

But most of them share the same race.

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Ode To A Forgotten Black Hero

I think the worst injustice

That we tolerate these days

Is how we abuse the roads

In a variety of ways.

We hit the road so often,

Pound the pavement, and it’s clear

That the roads get walked all over

And quitting time is near.

We’d never stab our children,

But we stick forks in the road

Then expect it to hold on

While it carries our giant load.

It’s time to give the streets a break…

Oops! I mean let them rest!

Anyway, quit using roads

Because that’s for the best.

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It’s Not About Race; It’s About Culture

Deep in the woods by a little green lake

Lived a man who had never been sad.

His life was just joy from the start to today,

Never once punctuated by bad.

He called the birds and the frogs company

And sang to the wood he would stack…

But all of that changed when he saw CNN

And learned what it meant to be black:

He learned that despite being happy and free

His life was defined by oppression

And how being equal to everyone else

Was the only worthwhile obsession.

He was overwhelmed, shocked even, until

He heard an inspiring call:

He realized he hadn’t voted for Biden

And thus wasn’t black after all!

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