For those who aren’t aware,
Jail and prison are not the same.
To help remember which is which
You can play this little game:
If you piss off any cop
You’ll go to a jail cell.
If you’re either poor or black
You’ll go to prison as well.
Tag Archives: Black Humor
Black Humor?
Leo asked, “Would you like to eat African food?”
We voted, and most voted, “Yea.”
Having said yes, Leo said, “Then I guess
“You and Africans feel the same way.”
Filed under Poems
Religious Dilemmas
When a Catholic priest goes bad
And wants a little boy
He calls the kid by asking
“You want to have a toy?”
When a Rabbi gets the urge
To get a boy that way
He says, “You want to have a toy?
“If so, you gotta pay!”
Filed under Poems
Morbid Subtext in Children’s Music
All is well while you’re singing
Until your realize
Mary will eventually have a big sheep
Unless one of them dies…
And yet we have been singing this
Since time itself was made.
Do the Mary’s keep swapping
Or was a sweater made?
Filed under Poems
Millennial Parenting Takes Another Small Step
If your name were Bedtime
And asked for a bedtime story
People might share anecdotes
Of you in all your glory.
Your children might get all confused
When it’s their rest-your-head time
And you ask them to ask you
“Tell me a story, Bedtime?”
Or say you want a lesson
In a subject like history
And you have to tell somebody
“Tell me, Bedtime, a story.”
One thing no one asks though
Is why Bedtime isn’t sad
When he tells the story of the time
He killed his mom and dad…
Filed under Poems
Sponsored Poem (With Video)!
Some folks can write greeting cards
And some folks can write songs.
Some folks can write poetry
Addressing social wrongs.
Some folks are very talented
While some folks just get by,
But on another level down
You’ll find, alas, this guy.
So how’s a lousy poet
Find a way to make ends meet
When the greatest poets in the world
Are starving in the street?
One way’s to get better,
But that’s just not my way.
The other is to advertise
For anyone willing to pay.
Those who sponsor poetry
Are sadly not so numerous…
I thus present this advertisement
With hope you’ll find it humorous.
Filed under Poems
Even Imminent Death Has Standards
I like you
Like a hairdryer loves a bath,
Like an ax loves a tree,
Like GPAs love math,
Like Clintons love snitches,
Like Windows likes working,
But I still think it’s weird
Netflix likes children twerking.
Filed under Poems
Think About The Bulimic Market Though!
First they made potatoes,
Then they made potato chips
Which were the same but thinner
And were prone to chap one’s lips.
Then they thought, “What if we
“Made these taste like spoiled fruit?”
Thus born was “Salt and Vinegar,”
And thus rose the chip’s repute.
“That went well,” the people said
And so they made new flavors
Like “Sour Cream and Onion”
And “Tasteless” (For the savers).
They made the chips organic,
They made them hot and cold,
They covered them in who-knows-what,
And still, somehow, they sold,
But you now dare to tell me
That my product is a waste?
Who wouldn’t want to purchase chips
Called “Orange Juice and Toothpaste?”
Filed under Poems
If Dr. Seuss Were A Rapper
We are blacks. You are whites.
You deny our human rights.
You can shoot us while we snack.
You can shoot us in the back.
You can shoot us while we sleep
Or brand us as unusual sheep.
We have never met our dad,
But blackness isn’t only bad.
We are physically much bigger
And can call each other the first part of Ryan Higa’s Youtube channel.
Being black is sometimes great.
We get to attend Penn State
Instead of living in a dump,
All because white guys can’t jump.
If you know of current trends
We will steal your girlfriends;
You are white and we are black
And they ain’t ever coming back!
Filed under Poems
Go Cry To… Oops
There’s nothing anyone can say
That won’t offend another.
For instance, if you say
That you live with your mother
Women call you loser,
Men will say you suck,
And orphans will be pissed
Because some guys get all the luck.
Filed under Poems
