Tag Archives: Black Humor

Board Games In Baltimore

We sat down to play

The latest version of Clue,

Read through the rulebook

To check what was new,

Saw a new character

Named “Mr. Not-White”

And we shouted “Case closed”

And called it a night.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

[(e^ x pi)^2] x 32/8 Poems About Stephen Hawking

He inspired T-Pain’s voice

And Kristen Stewart’s face.

He inspired the customer service line

For JPMorgan Chase.

He’s inspired Chuck Norris’s costars

And how my face looks when I kiss.

He inspired Kaepernick’s anthem quote:

“I will not stand for this.”

——————————————————–

Stephen Hawking read a book

About how to improve his look.

A little rouge and some eyeliner…

He was a brief history of sublimer!

——————————————————–

If Stephen Hawking gained some weight

And higher mass increases gravitational pull

Would fat Stephen Hawking be more attractive?

(And you thought physics was dull)!

——————————————————–

Stephen Hawking lit himself on fire

To experience how burning feels.

He gained a greater understanding

And a new nickname: Hot Wheels

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Sorry Fellow Libra…

When I was born the doctor said

“Your son may never speak.

“His tongue is all misshapen,

“His entire body weak.

My parents only smiled and laughed

As they rode home on the bus

Saying “At least that doctor

“Wasn’t talking to us!”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Reason #4,231,278 I Love Texas

I got a letter from a woman:

“I’m not pretty,” she wrote.

I wrote back “That’s okay.

“I once f***ed a goat.”*

Believe it or not

She never wrote back.

It seems my sage wisdom

Got her self-esteem back on track!

*Not a literal goat, you pervert! That’s just what we call my cousin.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Want Some Drink With Dose Fries?

The french-fried potatoes

That I bought from Wendy’s

Are covered in tattoos

And wear pants around their knees,

They complain about white privilege

And say “sup” instead of “hey.”

That’s when I remembered

That today is black fry day.

1 Comment

Filed under Poems

Jews In Mississippi

He showed us how to circumcise a redneck

In a way that none of us had done foresaw:

He found aforementioned redneck in his bedroom

Then kicked the redneck’s cousin in the jaw!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Tonight Both Actually Apply

Sometimes I love writing poems;

Of that there is no doubt.

But sometimes I’m like a single mom on welfare

Just tryin’ to crank another one out.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems