Tag Archives: Black Humor

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility… For About 90 Milliseconds Before You Dissolve

I’m not just an average Tom, Dick, or Harry.

I’m a powerful person. How powerful? Very!

I quit being an average Harry-Dick-Tom

When I was bit by a radioactive nuclear bomb!

Now in my blood a great power is pulsing

And my every finer of being is convulsing

Until, like a hero, I burst into flame

And fly into the air and learn power is lame.

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I’m Not One Of The Sheep… I’m Just The Pasture

You know those tests they give you

That tell your dream career?

There’s been an innovation

In those tests, or so I hear.

They’ve found 80 percent or more

Of testers’ perfect jobs

Are members of unthinking

And mostly peaceful violent mobs.

I didn’t think about it much

When first I heard the news,

But when I took the test myself

I had to change my views.

I scored, not as a rioter,

But a guy who owns a store

That sells lightweight TVs and food

In downtown Baltimore.

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Why I Don’t Work At Honda Anymore

I think a good name

For a model of car

Is “Starving African Child

“From Madagascar.”

The reason for this

I’d explain at a meeting:

One’s fast due to engines

And one fasts by not eating.

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Proof That Cutting Your Dick Off Is Heroic

When a guy decides he’d rather be female

And undergoes surgery, then

I think they become the most powerful mutants

Because, after all, they’re ex-men.

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When Someone Tells A Racist Joke And You Want To Warn Them To Stop, Apparently Shouting “ABORT!” Doesn’t Help…

If ever a black woman

Tries to defraud you

Here is a line you can say:

“Do I look like your baby,

“Because probably maybe

“I wasn’t born yesterday.”

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So Many Despots Just Picked The Wrong Demographic…

If you want to have world peace

And have all wars be ended

All you need to do is kill

The folks who get offended

Because if no one ever

Is upset by what gets said

No one will think, “That’s mean

“And so let’s make that person dead.”

Instead the only people

Still alive can speak their mind

And no one says “Let’s murder them

“‘Cause they mocked my behind.”

We’d live in perfect harmony

In lands of dance and song,

And if such genocide offends you

Then I dare you: Prove me wrong.

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This Poem Relieves Bureaucratic Congestion… Side Effects Include Being On The FBI Watchlist, Bureaucratic Congestion, And “Hanging Yourself” In A Cell Before Testifying Against The Clintons

Our government in America

Is a lot of old people

Roleplaying as a nose with a cold,

Alternating whether the right

Or left nostril can’t breath

While helping no one at all.

Time for Sinuclear TM

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Amber Alert

What child is this

You laid to rest

That in my lap

Is sleeping,

Whose face glows white

Like the face of God,

And why won’t my cell phone

Quit beeping?

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I Didn’t Finish This Poem… You’re Welcome

‘Twas the night after Kwanzaa

And all through the house

The whole family was stirring

But there was no male spouse…

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In America!

“An apple a day

“Keeps the doctor away,”

Or so my mama said.

“You’ve got no cash

“So you’ll soon turn to ash,”

Is what doctors say instead.

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