I’m not just an average Tom, Dick, or Harry.
I’m a powerful person. How powerful? Very!
I quit being an average Harry-Dick-Tom
When I was bit by a radioactive nuclear bomb!
Now in my blood a great power is pulsing
And my every finer of being is convulsing
Until, like a hero, I burst into flame
And fly into the air and learn power is lame.
Filed under Poems
You know those tests they give you
That tell your dream career?
There’s been an innovation
In those tests, or so I hear.
They’ve found 80 percent or more
Of testers’ perfect jobs
Are members of unthinking
And mostly peaceful violent mobs.
I didn’t think about it much
When first I heard the news,
But when I took the test myself
I had to change my views.
I scored, not as a rioter,
But a guy who owns a store
That sells lightweight TVs and food
In downtown Baltimore.
Filed under Poems
I think a good name
For a model of car
Is “Starving African Child
“From Madagascar.”
The reason for this
I’d explain at a meeting:
One’s fast due to engines
And one fasts by not eating.
Filed under Poems
When a guy decides he’d rather be female
And undergoes surgery, then
I think they become the most powerful mutants
Because, after all, they’re ex-men.
Filed under Poems
If ever a black woman
Tries to defraud you
Here is a line you can say:
“Do I look like your baby,
“Because probably maybe
“I wasn’t born yesterday.”
Filed under Poems
If you want to have world peace
And have all wars be ended
All you need to do is kill
The folks who get offended
Because if no one ever
Is upset by what gets said
No one will think, “That’s mean
“And so let’s make that person dead.”
Instead the only people
Still alive can speak their mind
And no one says “Let’s murder them
“‘Cause they mocked my behind.”
We’d live in perfect harmony
In lands of dance and song,
And if such genocide offends you
Then I dare you: Prove me wrong.
Filed under Poems
Our government in America
Is a lot of old people
Roleplaying as a nose with a cold,
Alternating whether the right
Or left nostril can’t breath
While helping no one at all.
Time for Sinuclear TM
Filed under Poems
What child is this
You laid to rest
That in my lap
Is sleeping,
Whose face glows white
Like the face of God,
And why won’t my cell phone
Quit beeping?
Filed under Poems
‘Twas the night after Kwanzaa
And all through the house
The whole family was stirring
But there was no male spouse…
Filed under Poems
“An apple a day
“Keeps the doctor away,”
Or so my mama said.
“You’ve got no cash
“So you’ll soon turn to ash,”
Is what doctors say instead.
Filed under Poems
