Tag Archives: Guns

August 7, 2015 · 3:02 pm

Maybe I Should Toast It?

I was mad at my TV,

So I shot it.

My toaster was asking for it,

So it got it.

I got a not-so-smoothie,

So my blender went kablemma!

Now my gun is malfunctioning,

And I face a dilemma.

I own a celebrity gun range
Just minutes from D.C.
It’s a place for visiting stars to come
Shoot a gun or a movie.

So if you’re in the city
And you want to kill someone
Just come down to the Shooting Star
And shoot like you’re someone!

I know folks are unhappy
When they come into the shop
With their car behind a tow truck
After an unexpected stop.

I know just why they take it out
On the guy behind the desk,
And in their frustration
Have need to vent about their mess.

I tried to work a grocery store,
And shops for clothes and tires,
Yet no matter what, the customers
Always brought their ires.

That’s how I came to work here,
In sales at Guns R Us,
‘Cause when there’s a rifle in your hands
Folks don’t make such a fuss.