Tag Archives: Appliances

“The Lousy Microwave” (Because I Spent All My Time On The Poem Instead Of The Title Today)

I have a lousy microwave.

It’s very very slow.

It take about two minutes

To melt a ball of snow.

If you want to boil water

A half an hour should do

And if you ever cook some soup

Go watch a film or two.

Your vegetables will not be steamed.

Your corn will not be popped.

The minute that you start it

It has already stopped.

It’s starting to annoy me

And get under my skin

And now I’ll either throw it out

Or try to plug it in.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

But The Microwave Is Silver…

The pot called the kettle black.

The kettle thought the pot was a racist kind,

But then kettle saw that the pot was black too

And, quoth the kettle, nevermind.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Maybe I Should Toast It?

I was mad at my TV,

So I shot it.

My toaster was asking for it,

So it got it.

I got a not-so-smoothie,

So my blender went kablemma!

Now my gun is malfunctioning,

And I face a dilemma.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems