Tag Archives: Customer Service

Tech Support

Sometimes a customer writes me to say

“I wish that your product would do things this way.”

I like to tell them “Hey, let’s clear the air:

“The problem’s between your keyboard and chair.”

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The Last Words Spoken To Me At My Customer Service Job Before My “Involuntary Retirement Was Expedited” On Account Of “Unbecoming Physical Demonstrations”

“You know those days

Where everything’s bad,

Everything hurts,

Everyone’s mad,

Nobody’s happy,

And nothing is true?

I don’t, but you’re nodding,

So it sucks to be you!”

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Morning Support

I said my name and my address
My SSN, my cause of distress,
And received the counseling
Of choppy jazz and a telephone ring.

A computer graciously took my call
And presented me with options, all
Irrelevant to my concern.
IT just wants the world to burn.

A half-hour later, I just lied
To get a human on the inside
To transfer me where relevant.
Off to China I was sent

Where a friendly native, “Joe,”
Quickly showed me where to go.
I sent an email, and right away
Was told to call, and to have a nice day.

I made up an answer and called it good.
What I go through for firewood…

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The Waiter’s Revenge

Like springtime peaches
Or December pears
Her disposition was sour.
Her malcontent
Left ripening
For well over an hour.

She left me not
A tip that night
Since the service was so slow.
I’m not the kind
To ruin food
But brake lines… Yes or no?

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Customer Service

I know folks are unhappy
When they come into the shop
With their car behind a tow truck
After an unexpected stop.

I know just why they take it out
On the guy behind the desk,
And in their frustration
Have need to vent about their mess.

I tried to work a grocery store,
And shops for clothes and tires,
Yet no matter what, the customers
Always brought their ires.

That’s how I came to work here,
In sales at Guns R Us,
‘Cause when there’s a rifle in your hands
Folks don’t make such a fuss.

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Sex is a service.
It takes lots of work,
But it’s a pretty good job
With its fair share of perks.

Sometimes it’s hard,
(And we hope that it is).
It needs some of hers,
And it needs some of his.


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