Tag Archives: Guns

Modern Conveniences

While I’m on the road

I shop for ammo online.

Times aren’t all that bad!

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If everybody had a gun

The world would be a lot of fun

And if everyone died ‘cause I was wrong

No one would complain this poem ain’t long.

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People are trying to ban firearms

As if they could assume

That they wouldn’t need a gun

If a spider came in their room…

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Yes, I’m A White Male. Why Do You Ask?

There are as many guns as people

In the USA.

There are more rounds of ammo

Than people in history.

Yet you think murder will stop

If guns go away.

Your method of thinking…

Now that is a mystery!

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Aphrodite’s Mom-of-the-Year Award

I didn’t put my firearms

In a baby-proof safe. I’m not stupid!

I just wanted to give the world

A much more dangerous cupid.

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Maybe I Should Toast It?

I was mad at my TV,

So I shot it.

My toaster was asking for it,

So it got it.

I got a not-so-smoothie,

So my blender went kablemma!

Now my gun is malfunctioning,

And I face a dilemma.

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Venture Capitol

I own a celebrity gun range
Just minutes from D.C.
It’s a place for visiting stars to come
Shoot a gun or a movie.

So if you’re in the city
And you want to kill someone
Just come down to the Shooting Star
And shoot like you’re someone!

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Customer Service

I know folks are unhappy
When they come into the shop
With their car behind a tow truck
After an unexpected stop.

I know just why they take it out
On the guy behind the desk,
And in their frustration
Have need to vent about their mess.

I tried to work a grocery store,
And shops for clothes and tires,
Yet no matter what, the customers
Always brought their ires.

That’s how I came to work here,
In sales at Guns R Us,
‘Cause when there’s a rifle in your hands
Folks don’t make such a fuss.

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