Ten minutes ago, I offended myself.
Five minutes ago, I told you.
Now I’m writing one last time
And this time it’s to scold you…
One cannot offend one’s self,
So you must be to blame!
Were it not for other people
I’d have all the wealth and fame!
To apologize for hurting me
I’ll deign to let you grovel,
To beg forgiveness long enough
To fill a Tolstoy novel.
These gifts won’t make you virtuous
Or cleanse you of your sin
But I’m oppressed for being great
So let the praise begin!
The Daily Travesty 