Tag Archives: Humans

Great Minds Think Alike, But Fools Seldom Differ

The best thing about 8 billion people

Is, at least according to me,

That no matter what weird opinion you have

At least one other guy will agree.

The worst thing about 8 billion people

Is, also according to moi,

That a bunch of the rich and the stupid ones

Agree their opinions are law.

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Why Amazon Makes Billions A Day

Sam was 28 years old,

Had never seen the sun,

Had never eaten chocolate,

Never had any fun,

Had never hugged a puppy

And got stung by a bee

And he’s telling the cashier about it

Right in front of me…

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See How These Things Escalate? (Pt. 3/3)

Ten minutes ago, I offended myself.

Five minutes ago, I told you.

Now I’m writing one last time

And this time it’s to scold you…

One cannot offend one’s self,

So you must be to blame!

Were it not for other people

I’d have all the wealth and fame!

To apologize for hurting me

I’ll deign to let you grovel,

To beg forgiveness long enough

To fill a Tolstoy novel.

These gifts won’t make you virtuous

Or cleanse you of your sin

But I’m oppressed for being great

So let the praise begin!

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Adventures In Milk Purchasing

I am a human

Who lives in a place

Where food can be purchased to eat.

Some take that for granted,

Some think it’s a nuisance,

And I think it’s pretty darn neat.

But sometimes I wonder

About fellow shoppers

Who bought before I came along.

I used to think fondly

Of my fellow humans*

But now I have proof I was wrong.

*This is a lie, but the photo is real

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Spirit Animals

I wonder if tigers,

Wolves, and Toucans

Think that their spirit

Animals are humans?

I could find no answer,

But see if you can.

And now I wonder whose spirit

Animal is a toucan.

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