Alternate History

It’s the little things in history

That changed the world we know,

Like how we’d all be drinking taxed tea

If it weren’t for that Washington schmo.

What if Egypt hadn’t come along

And stolen Moses’s guys,

Or if medieval barbarians

Had toilet paper (just two plies).

Would the dark ages have ended

If the Visigoths used their head

And gained a tactical advantage

By bein invisi-goths instead?

And what if all this happened

And then Superman got drunk

And flew around the world so fast

That suddenly history stunk?

How would history be different

If this poet were never born?

You’d be stuck with Robert Frost,

Or else be watching porn.

Thus endeth my ideas,

Written down via Roman letters.

But think of how, if things had changed,

This poem would be betters.


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