Tag Archives: Truth

I’m A Mediocre Redneck, But I’m Enthusiastic About It

I places 3rd out of 4 teams

At the cornhole tournaments.

I scored 6 points in two games

And I’ve felt so manly since.

I also walked in a cardboard box

And fell on my cardboard face.

That’s a Wednesday afternoon

At my Summer place!

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Dear Ladies, Love Men

My girl made me a sandwich

And left a little note:

“Sandwich in the fridge. I love you!”

That was all she wrote.

That was all I needed

To get me through the day

And made every struggle, small and large,

Seem perfectly okay.

So when your boyfriend, husband,

Or another man declares

“Go make me a sandwich”

It shows you that he cares

Enough about your love to ask

For what he really needs.

If you want true love to grow

That’s how to sow the seeds.

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Artistic Priorities

Today I was a DJ

At a wedding for my friends.

It was great, but tiring

And thus this poem ends.

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It’s The Thought That Counts?

I wrote this poem earlier

But published it tonight.

I hope you find that tactic

Is both fair and alright.

I did it ‘cause when I am tired

And weary from the day

My poems are bland and meaningless,

But so’s this one, so hey!

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Seriously, When Was The Last Time You Went To The Movies And Enjoyed It?

Someone in Hollywood decided

“What if instead of crappy flicks

“We badly remade everything people love

“And when they complain, say that they’re dicks?”

Everyone outside Hollywood

Disliked this judgement call,

But on the bright side, now people

See that books aren’t that bad after all.

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Autobiographical, And An Apology In Advance If I Miss Tomorrow’s Poem

Once again this poem went

To the wilds, and pitched him a tent.

The wifi was iffy

But present, so spiffy!

On that wifi this poem is sent.

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Coming Soon To The MCU: Night Owl

I’m tired and I’m sleepy

And I want to rest my mind,

But there is a problem

That I cannot leave behind:

As much as I need slumber

And as much as I need rest

Staying up unreasonably late

Is the one thing I do best.

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Dear Vegans

Many chickens passed away

So you could have a meal.

You killed them and ate their eggs;

How does that make you feel?

Many chickens were beheaded,

Plucked, and fried in fat.

Because of that, I feel full

And I’m okay with that.

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Why Adventurers Just Don’t Anymore In 2022

We survived a drowning island.

We endured the burning sand.

We outlasted freezing rain

And our cousin’s cover band.

We’ve outrun giant boulders

And a crazy nazi horde

But when the radio plays songs

By Taylor Swift… Oh Lord!

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Hi God… Let’s Talk Retcons For A Sec

Every night I go to sleep

After a simple prayer

When I recall the Star Wars sequels

And wish they weren’t there.

Every day when I awake

My wish was not obeyed,

But someday soon we’ll see a world

In which only six were made…

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