Nothing says “Settle down tonight”
Like drinking a cup of tea
That you made ten hours ago
And then erased from your memory
Until now, when you sip its coldness
And enjoy its over-steeped flavor.
Yes, this is my evening’s pleasure
And my absent-minded savor.
Filed under Poems
Every problem in the world
Can be solved with one of these:
WD-40, a well-timed bullet,
Or a bag of frozen peas.
Filed under Poems
Tonight I logged onto my blog
Although the hour was late
And saw that people liked my post
Just called “5688”.
Apparently my mind designed
To make my memory marred
To the degree that writing out
A title was too hard.
But mind, I am resilient!
Your trick’s a hidden blessing!
Now I know how many posts
I’ve written without guessing.
So here’s to poem 5689
And the many more to come;
The great, the late, on every date
And, most of all, the dumb.
Filed under Poems
Starry Summer night
My love in my arms, but then
My bladder says “Boo”
Filed under Poems
Tonight’s the night
I forgot to write,
Though not by choice
Nor lack of voice.
So now I mock
My writer’s block
And from my bed
Thank insomnia instead.
And now my daily burden done
I await the smiling morning sun
So I can say, “Good morning,” and then
Go happily back to sleep again.
Filed under Poems
Someone made a sandwich
With ice cream as the filling.;
They took a mighty gamble
But consumers were more than willing.
Then someone ate one of the sandwiches
And thought, “I really don’t like to chew”
So they added some pre-softened cardboard
And gave it the name “Great Value.”
Filed under Poems
Every sport on Earth
Is just humans playing fetch
With some extra rules.
Filed under Poems
Growing up means being sleepy
But working anyway,
Trying hard to not be creepy
While you earn your pay,
And maybe plotting a murder or two
But not giving that away.
Filed under Poems
Sometimes I am sleepy
So I write a haiku
To fulfill my daily promise
Of writing poems for you.
Sometimes the day after
My sleepiness departs
And I grace you with a poem
About love or dogs or farts.
Other times my sleepiness
Remains in all it’s splendor
For sleep has been neglected
By me, it’s sworn defender.
And so on such occasions,
Hypothetical as they may be,
I write two haikus in a row
(And sometimes even three)
But tonight I use a tactic
Less observed but just as smart:
I write about my writer’s block
And pass it off as art.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 