Tag Archives: Truth

Oh, Also I’m Sick

Sitting on a bus

Waiting to go home.

I don’t feel creative at all.

The driver is gone.

If this moment were art

It’d be the plain red stripe on a hotel wall.

Dogs are pretty.

Pretties are not always dogs.

If you thought you’d be happy

With this poem’s conclusion

Reread the first two lines.

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Heaven Is Real

This world of ours has beauty

Hidden where you’d least expect.

There’s a chance for redemption

In every life that ends up wrecked.

In every gray face on the corner,

In every drop the clouds can cry,

There’s a way for you to heal

If you only choose to try.

So when the sun stops shining

Take comfort in the shade.

The beauty in the pink of dawn

Is equal to when day fades.

Eagles think they’re falling

When they first learn how to fly.

Love is all around us,

Not just in some beholders eye.

The world has many faces.

Close your eyes, the faces stay.

Whatever you think of the world

It doesn’t change its way.

Regardless of what you may believe

The truth is always true.

If you don’t believe in Heaven,

Heaven still believes in you.

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I Can Safely Write This Because She Doesn’t Read My Blog And Is Imaginary

Some sayings sound satisfying

But don’t apply to real life,

Like “what comes up must come down”

Doesn’t work for the weight of my wife…

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Children’s Music

For those of you who do not know

I have a sparse financial pool,

And so to make some extra bucks

I teach chess at the local school.

Now, names are hard to memorize

So sometimes we play games

To have fun, but mostly to

Help master all the names.

One such game is but a song,

Wherein the person pitched

Is sung to in a pattern

In which some letters get switched:

“Jamie jamie bo bamie,

“Bannana-fanna fo famie,

Me, my, mo mamie,

“Jamie.”

Yes, it is a silly game

But it does its job.

The problem is that you don’t want

To make the children sob

So every single child

Gets their own letter-swapping chorus

To help us learn their names

Before they play chess and ignore us.

In the old days all the Jamies,

Davids, Duncans, Kyles, and Joes

Could sing this song as easily

As “Head, shoulders, knees and toes.”

But now all the La’shamquas,

Chimeras, Flexktons, and Ka’drames

Don’t work as well with this song

(And the Aidan/Caden/Jaydensall sound  the same).

Still the worst name ever

That I’ve applied this method too

Was a little boy named Tucker

Who didn’t want to go boo-hoo

So a class of twenty children

Sang “bannana-fanna fo…”

Then sang the next line to the principal

Who then told me I had to go.

So that’s why I am hustling

With my chess board in the park.

Sometimes you end up a hero.

Sometimes Tucker makes you a shark.

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Hint: I’m Burning The American Southeast In Effigy

It’s my birthday.

The Seahawks lost.

You may or may not draw

An accurate conclusion

Of my happiness (or lack thereof)

Based on that information.

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A Commoner Poem

If I were cast in Game of Thrones

I think I’d be a peasant

‘Cause I’m a lousy actor

And my death would be more pleasant.

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True Story Guest Post: The Epic of Hwy 99

Such a travesty is BC Hwy 99I think the guys who built it were blind

Or perhaps were very drunk

This road doesn’t make sense to a duck. 
The road was built for Mario Cart

Level one is 340 degree turns

Level two is curves that lead to un-marked one-lane bridges

Level three add turning trucks

And if that isn’t more than enough 

Level four the deer are suicidal. 

Level five we take away the road signs

Level six adds falling rocks

Level seven adds the rain

Level eight is and 15% grade

Level nine is 10 km/hr on that grade
I don’t want to reach level ten —

Not even the Buddha has that level zen. 
JOFFRE LAKES!

Now it all makes sense!
And at the village intersection 

As the clock strikes midnight, 

We pass the bloody Grim. 

And across a bridge we go 

To be warned of washout conditions. 
I have 99 problems 

And this road is all of them. 

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