Tag Archives: Truth

Short Story Long…

Yesterday, I swore

To put in the work,

In no effort fail

And in no duty shirk,

With hopes that what came

Would be “awesome and clever.”

I fulfill that promise

This evening. However…

I spent the afternoon

Teaching and gaming

Then followed that up

With some Pokemon taming.

Now with just 32

Minutes to go

‘Til what is today

Becomes what’s tomorrow

I write out this poem

With many a rhyme

So that reading it all

Will take you a long time,

The idea being

If you must work hard

You’ll think me more effortful

And, thus, a good bard.

And if you stopped reading

Before that confession,

Having been turned off

By your own first impression

Or else by the length

Of the stuff with no point

Then you, with the title

Of “dude,” I anoint.

Alas, as I wrap up

These meaningless stanzas,

The latest of many

Poem-stravaganzas

I shed but one tear

For the non-finishers who’d

Feel so happy knowing

I’d anointed them “dude.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

So… Status Quo Then?

Tomorrow it shall be

My sincerest endeavor

To compose some light verse

That’s both awesome and clever.

Tonight my endeavor’s

To not lose my clout

While I promise you good stuff

That’s yet to come out.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

This Poem Reflects Their Work Ethic

If you want the very best

Be a fan of the New York Jets.

That rhyme didn’t work quite right

And neither do they.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

This Is What Happens When You Don’t Click “Like”

I’ve worked hard the past few days

But this is not my work that pays

And thus I write one stanza here.

Go read the stuff I wrote last year.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Another Perspective…

The top one-percent of earners

Make $585 K.

The minimum NFL salary

Is $615,000 today.

These 0.95-percenters

Complain about being oppressed

And wonder why their unemployed fans

Are anything less than impressed.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

…Ya Know?

Chevy is the At&T of cars.

Polos are the Taylor Swift of shirts.

Venus is the Uranus of Mars.

Shorts are the frozen waffles of skirts.

Mondays are the Youtube ads of time.

The Bachelor is the store-brand Cheerios of salt.

Chihuahuas are the poet’s salary of crime.

If you don’t get these metaphors that’s not my fault.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Two American Legends

Yankee Doodle went to town

Riding on a pony.

He stuck a feather in his cap

And called it macaroni.

Yankee Doodle was confused,

Perhaps ’cause of the ridin’,

And his random speech habit

Got picked up by Joe Biden.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Compound Disinterest

Back in the age when wealthy folk

Made twenty cents an hour,

The internet was in morse code,

And photographs were dour

A strapping lass of 25

Dug up a hidden stash

Of gold bouillon from Mexico

Worth $20 million cash.

She put it in a bank account

That earned an APR

Of 65 percent a year

And traveled wide and far.

A hundred thousand years went by

And humans passed away,

But in an old abandoned bank

The fortune’s there to stay

Until some alien arrives

And withdraws so many bucks

That the number almost equals

How much I think soccer sucks.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

But Honey… We Have Needs

Sometimes we go shopping

Because we have needs

Like cardamom, five-spice,

And sunflower seeds,

A packet of seaweed

And kale-chips-ahoy!

Perhaps we might splurge

For a mint-in-box toy.

When we feel spendy

Perhaps we will pounce

On a bottle of wine

That we cannot pronounce

And then at the end

We’ll return home again

And eat yesterday’s ramen

Because we are men.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Perspective

My friend says it’s stressful

Trying to stay on track,

Keeping up with work and play

And texting everyone back…

And here I am, still in bed

At 2:35,

Unemployed, without friends,

Feeling happy to be alive!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems