If I had a dollar
For every time the mainstream media
Said something nice about white people
I’d have zero dollars
Which is still more than the WNBA
Has earned in all of history.
Filed under Poems
Nothing says “Settle down tonight”
Like drinking a cup of tea
That you made ten hours ago
And then erased from your memory
Until now, when you sip its coldness
And enjoy its over-steeped flavor.
Yes, this is my evening’s pleasure
And my absent-minded savor.
Filed under Poems
Every problem in the world
Can be solved with one of these:
WD-40, a well-timed bullet,
Or a bag of frozen peas.
Filed under Poems
Tonight I logged onto my blog
Although the hour was late
And saw that people liked my post
Just called “5688”.
Apparently my mind designed
To make my memory marred
To the degree that writing out
A title was too hard.
But mind, I am resilient!
Your trick’s a hidden blessing!
Now I know how many posts
I’ve written without guessing.
So here’s to poem 5689
And the many more to come;
The great, the late, on every date
And, most of all, the dumb.
Filed under Poems
Starry Summer night
My love in my arms, but then
My bladder says “Boo”
Filed under Poems
Tonight’s the night
I forgot to write,
Though not by choice
Nor lack of voice.
So now I mock
My writer’s block
And from my bed
Thank insomnia instead.
And now my daily burden done
I await the smiling morning sun
So I can say, “Good morning,” and then
Go happily back to sleep again.
Filed under Poems
Someone made a sandwich
With ice cream as the filling.;
They took a mighty gamble
But consumers were more than willing.
Then someone ate one of the sandwiches
And thought, “I really don’t like to chew”
So they added some pre-softened cardboard
And gave it the name “Great Value.”
Filed under Poems
Every sport on Earth
Is just humans playing fetch
With some extra rules.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 