Tag Archives: Truth

In Other News, How Did 10:53 Become “Late”?

There once was a poet in bed

With ideas flush in his head,

But he stayed ip too late

And, as was his fate,

He dashed down a limerick instead.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

True Stories from a Man’s Kitchen

Today I made some cheesecake

That I got from a mix.

I mixed a lime and whipping cream

With several cream cheese sticks,

But when I picked the mixer

To taste the final yum

I realized I forgot to add the mix

And yes, I’m really that dumb!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Her Heroes?

My lady likes a hairy man

Who eats his food straight from a can,

Walks silently around the house

And saved her from a wild mouse.

Her dream guy sleeps both long and hard.

Around him she lets down her guard.

He can snuggle up at night

And make the whole world feel alright.

She likes the feeling of his tongue,

Not worried he’s no longer young.

The only worry I have is that

Is this guy me, or is it her cat?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

But They Still Need Taxes?

“What comes up must come down”

My teacher told me with a frown,

But here’s a thing that I don’t get:

Why isn’t that true for government debt?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Only Washingtonians Will Appreciate The Absurdity

Today it rained in the morning,

From dawn ‘til the sunset was yella’

And I saw the craziest out-of-town guy

Who for some reason had an umbrella!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

My Evening Routine

I’m writing this poem

As I’m brushing my teeth,

Hunting down food bits

All hidden beneath

The sharp, off-white bone spurs

That jut from my gum.

My teeth are all clean now

But my rhymes are still dumb.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

A Midlife Crisis At Any Age

I bought a ‘57 Chevy

(Or what’s left of it, at least)

And I fixed it up so I

Could be a sexy beast.

I cruised it up and down the block

To pick up saucy chicks.

Alas, my ‘57 Chevy

Doesn’t hide that I’m 86.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Ooh… And Throw In A Twist Villain And Random One-Liners Whenever The MANY Main Characters Die But Then Come Back To Life Because Time Travel

There once was a film from the past

And people said it was a blast;

Then Hollywood said

“What if instead

“It had an (insert group here) cast?”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Eight Lines In Two Minutes… I’m Inspired 🥰

Tonight I was abducted

By a girl with rosy hair

And forced into abiding love

Of depth both fine and rare.

She’s brushing her teeth now

And I’m trying to write this fast.

(This wasn’t my first “my girl’s here” poem

And it surely won’t be my last).

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

For The One

I love how ordinary days

Can set my heart alight.

I love the normal, glorious ways

Your face can glow so bright,

How just to fall asleep with you

Makes my entire week

And how many ways we say “I love you”

With eyes and blushing cheeks.

I’m glad I make you feel safe

When life just isn’t fair.

My heart is yours and much more full

Than my poor head of hair.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems