Tag Archives: Truth

Dear Cheese…

Though made to feed a bovine calf

We stole you from the mother,

Mixed you with bacteria

And rennet to feed another.

We formed this new more-yellow you

Into a wheel of cheese

To be sliced and melted freely

By whosoever it should please.

Your sacrifice is noted

And has brought the world much joy

And we’ll fight to keep you relevant

In a world obsessed with soy.

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When Your Eternal Soul Is An Introvert

Being human is great

But the best thing to be

Reincarnated as

(According to me)

Is the inside part

Of the roof of a home

‘Cause you aren’t at all sentient

And people leave you alone.

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The Answer, At Last!

All the single ladies

Ask where all the good men went,

Dreaming of the good old days

When the six-foot-plus millionaires

Without egos or exes

Would contact them conveniently

And buy them stuff

All without leaving the house.

Meanwhile the six-foot-plus

Drama-free millionaires

Are in their basements

Roleplaying car thieves

And writing bad poetry blogs.

You’re welcome.

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Ye Olde Goode Advice

If at first you don’t succeed

Run away with all due speed

For though thine courage shan’t be praised

From the dead thou needn’t be raised.

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Think Of All The TV I Missed Though…

The river softly calls my name,

The trees and wind applauding.

I wander in the wilderness

And smell the flowers nodding.

The sky’s a bright and cloudless blue

In the moment I lie down

And what was once a rocky hill

Becomes my granite crown.

I stay an hour or a year

Amidst the wild. I savor it.

We all are nature’s children

And mother nature has no favorite.

And thus I rest on brother grass

As sister blue jay sings

And laugh at those who seek to find

Their happiness in things.

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Please Move Progressively Somewhere Else

If you don’t like the country

In which you make your home

Then see the world as options

To the places you might roam.

And if you’re in a country

You dislike but can’t depart

You are in our prayers,

In our thoughts, and in our heart.

But if you can leave your country

And insult it while you stay

Then do us all a favor

And shut up or move away.

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One More Time (Anatomy Of Pop)

I met you, romantic prospect,

At a facility frequented by listeners of this genre.

It was unrealistically perfect

To look upon ya.

Then I sang about nothing!

Then I sang the same nothing!

Then the same nothing again

One more time!

I mentioned your physical appearance

But also a personal detail

To convince listeners of this genre

That you, romantic prospect, are real.

Then I sang about nothing!

Then the exact same nothing!

Then a slightly lengthened version of the same nothing

(With backup singers)

One more time!

Then I sang again about nothing!

(Because choruses, yo)

Then again about nothing!

(Because choruses bro)

One more time about nothing!

(Yay radio…)

One more time!

Fade and repeat ad infinitum…

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