Tag Archives: Truth

Honesty

I used to be wealthy, handsome, and brave.

I used to be known as whom all women crave.

I used to be humble, witty, and wise

But then I stopped speaking in nothing but lies.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Socialism: Free Trial Edition

If you’re tired of Trump

Then make the jump

To sunny Venezuela!

There you can shirk

And do no work

And the socialist state will pay ya!

You’ll save so much money

It isn’t funny

‘Cause there’s nothing for sale to buy

So if you bite your thumb

‘Cause there’s no food to bum

You can tell South America “hi.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

How To Write A Superbowl Ad

You start out with a robot

That’s been made with CGI

Who says one beer is best

With no compelling reason why.

Next you strip the advertisement

Of anything resembling humor

So you don’t provoke the many

With an “I’m Offended” tumor.

Then say “We love social justice

“So you should buy our calamari”

With the sincerity of a five-year-old

When they’re forced to say “I’m sorry.”

The result’s an advertisement

To appeal to a mob

That hates all corporations

But still needs them for their job.

I hope next year’s Sportsball expo

Doesn’t try to be so “woke”

And the 2020 vegans

Are prepared to take a joke.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

If I’d Written This Ten Years Ago I’d Be A Prophet

As Booth did to Lincoln

And school did to fun

I fear that to music

Will quite soon be done.

If you flip the radio

(Or whichever app’s in now)

You’ll find to enunciate

Is practically sin now.

To play any chords

Besides 1, 5, 6, and 4

Makes the average listener

Call such songs a snore

And no matter the genre

You will find bits of rap.

Yes I fear that all music

Will soon become crap.

Is there a solution

To pop music’s decline?

If so, leave a comment.

If not, I’ll just whine.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Well, The Years Start Coming And They Don’t Stop Coming! Fed To The Rules And I Hit The Ground Runnin’! (If you don’t get this joke, you’re one of the first two)

When you say 2001

Some say “A space odyssey,”

Some say “September 11th,”

Some say “The year of the first Shrek movie.”

One of those subgroups

Is precious to me.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

A Fairy Tale Romance

I hold your hand and count to ten

On fingers, yours and mine.

I see the ring I’ll give to you

And how the gold will shine.

I see the satin dress you’ll wear,

Your lacy veil of white

And how our lives will be complete

After our wedding night.

I smell our families’ tears of joy

And hear the words we’ll say

To merge two hearts eternally

On one momentous day.

I feel the fire in my heart,

How yours must burn the same,

I ask you now to you marry me!

Oh, also, what’s your name?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

A Diatribe On The State Of Political Upheaval In Western Civilization

The incidences of protests

Inversely correlate

With the cost of protest signs

And whether people have a date.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems