Tag Archives: Truth

Your Vocabulary Word Of The Day Is…

Sometimes it can be tough

To deal with all of your stuff,

And so the path that seems easiest

Is to be an eccedentesiast.

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True At Every Age

Some days your mind is foggy

And your heart is cold as ice

But you know soon you’ll have a poop

And that will feel nice!

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Hope Exists In Odd Places

The fact that football stadiums

Are filled with maskless faces

Who came to watch a bunch of men

Of many faiths and races

Hit each other for a ball

While chanting “Let’s Go Brandon”

Makes me think the world’s too good

To suddenly abandon.

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Better Than Two Cliche New Years Haiku… But Not By Much

Last year if I forgot to write

A poem (like yesterday)

I would write two poems, both

Which would have nothing to say.

This year my resolution

Is to write one thing that’s good

Instead of writing two bad poems

Just ‘cause I said I would.

So if you are that one person

Who reads my daily crap

And realized I missed a day

I hope you’ll stop and clap

Because I’ve reframed laziness

In terms of personal growth

And if that isn’t something good

Then what it is I do not know’th.

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Reflection

He looked in the mirror

And instead of his face

He saw someone worthy

Of goodness and grace;

A man who was useful,

Who’d given enough,

With bountiful beauty

Though his edges were rough;

A man that he knew

Deserved the fine feeling

That he could rise higher

Uncrushed by the ceiling;

A man who saw Heaven

In shelves left undusted,

Who hadn’t yet learned

It’s alright to be rusted;

A man who’d been beaten

Yet rose straight and tall

On the day he believed

It was his face after all.

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The REAL Home Office

If, instead of cubicles,

We gave all employees

Their own private bathroom

And a set of private keys

So they could sit on porc’lain throne

And work at the same time

Productivity would go up

By a factor of eight or nine.

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I Hope This Limerick Ages Horribly

There once was a bat from Wuhan

Who bad people did some work on.

It got fed up one day

And just flew away

And just like that two years are gone!

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Arrive At Five Bro

When you drive to pick her up

And leave at 4:15

She says she’ll be ready in 10 minutes

But we the wise have seen

That when a woman tells you

When she’ll be ready is the same

As the way the measure how long’s left

At the end of a football game.

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Works On 5-Year-Olds, So…

Instead of sending crooks to jail

What if we made them eat kale?

I think they’d say that I’m a hero

For the idea that reduced all crime to zero.

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It Was A Valiant Effort At Least…

There once was a poet I knew

Who wrote poems at 11:52.

Tonight he was inspired

To write before he got tired

But, alas, tonight’s poem sucks too…

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