Tag Archives: Truth

For Sunflower

I love you, my sunshine,

My sniffer of books,

For more than your laughter

And stunning good looks.

I love you for doubting,

Examining life,

For wanting to be my

Spectacular wife.

I love you for giving

With no hint of greed.

You’re all that I want

And more than I need.

I love you for being

The woman you are:

A dreamer, a doer,

A fighter, a star.

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There’s One Thing That Matters, And It’s Not Skin

I talk about love

And I talk about life,

How I do honest work

For my kids and my wife,

How I got a step up

From my forefather’s grace,

But what keeps me alive

Is the sweat on my face.

I won’t take a dime

If it hasn’t been earned;

Can’t regret when I failed

Because that’s when I learned.

I can say what I say

With no need for defense

Because what I say

Is just plain common sense.

So if you think I hate

Someone ‘cause they’re not white,

Consider a moment

That you may not be right.

Perhaps I respect

Those who earned their own keep

With an excess of ethics

And an absence of sleep;

Maybe the reason

You’re not on my mind

Is because I’m a doer

And I like my own kind.

You want to be equal?

Well, I want that too.

While I’m out here working

I’ll watch what you do

And when you go home

Having done what you should

You won’t think about race:

You’ll be feeling too good!

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Yeah… The Swooshing Noises Would Get Old Pretty Fast… WAIT! Noise Cancelling Laser Armor!

The Jedi Order’s been around

For many thousands of years

And made a lot of laser swords

They didn’t give their peers.

These laser swords cut anything

Except each other, it seems,

And they block laser guns and stuff

And red ones oft cause screams.

My question for the Jedi,

Who claim to be guardians of peace,

Is why they never thought to make

An armor made of these?

A suit of laser armor

That blocks all forms of harm

Would prevent a lot of Jedi who

So often lose an arm,

As well as making everyone

Invulnerable to violence.

The only downside I can see

Is that the world would no longer have silence…

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How I Choose To Put Stuff In My Body

You know those ads that run late at night

Where the guy tells you how to solve life

By eating one teaspoon of Stuff every day.

After all, it’s how he found his wife

Even though he was homeless and 300 pounds

And rodents were all he digested

Until he discovered a miracle cure

That one night he just manifested.

It’s a powder with maca, ginseng, beluga,

Alabaster, carnuba, and chives

And though the FDA says it’s not tested at all

It will change many millions of lives!

Well the guy selling Stuff that the FDA doubts

Saying it will make everything great

Has the same credentials as the Covid vaccine

Which is why I personally hesitate.

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The Worrier’s Day Off

I’ve just been so busy!

I need to relax,

So I’ll sleep in a bit

And eat a few snacks,

Go for a walk

Or do something constructive,

Then blame myself for

Not being productive.

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YA Dystopian Epics

Once upon a time

In a far away world

That turns out to be the USA by book 3

A brave young girl

With a stupid name

Becomes an unlikely hero

When she’s mildly inconvenienced

By an otherwise fine totalitarian system.

Alongside her trusty sensitive boyfriend

And the other dude who has no chance

But is still in the book for some reason

She will change the world…

Then she’ll do it again in book 2

In basically the same way

And then there’s a third one

Where the writer basically tells you

“War is bad,” or something

Because you kinda have to keep reading.

Her battle will be legendary

For about ten years

Until the next four-book trilogy releases.

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Survivor: Now vs. Then

They used to be marooned

On an island, all alone,

Without food or water

Or even a smartphone.

Now 16 survivors

Have to stay at a 2-star hotel

With only basic cable and

Non-organic hair gel.

In the old days, the survivors

Would compete in feats of strength,

Rewarded for success by an

Increase in isolation’s length.

Now they have to listen

As someone reads offensive tweets

And try as hard as possible

To not cry from their seats.

I guess the type of people

Who can live outside the city

Don’t sign up for TV shows

And I think that’s a pity.

Now excuse me as I watch

Carsten, Miracle, and Regan

Compete for who goes longest

Without saying “I’m a vegan.“

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This Haiku Says It All

I coughed on someone

Who got their Covid vaccine.

Why are they worried?

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This Poem Brought To You By Our Sponsor, “Sir Alabaster Thoroughgood”

There are only two types of men

That I have ever met:

The type who name their genitals

And the type who aren’t born yet.

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How To Win The Internet

My most popular poem has 58 likes.

Second place has just 24.

It’s caused me to think, and even consider

Just writing to please the bots more.

After all, if what gets me exposure

Is whatever the A.I. likes best

Is that not the way to become popular

And say to the world, “I’m the best?”

And that, my dear readers, is madness!

It’s crap of the highest degree,

A symptom of how the internet age

Can inspire such insanity.

Art doesn’t need to be popular;

Life doesn’t need to be flawless;

When the rules of the game are to lie, cheat, and steal

Then the answer is just to be lawless.

I’m not going to think about numbers.

I’m not going to worry about views.

I’m going to write about what makes me happy

Instead of what’s big in the news.

And if you are willing to venture

To a world where you’re thought of as “lame”

I think you’ll find what happiness comes

When you too quit the internet game.

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