Starry Summer night
My love in my arms, but then
My bladder says “Boo”
Tag Archives: Truth
When Insomnia Pays Off (Happy Weekend)
Tonight’s the night
I forgot to write,
Though not by choice
Nor lack of voice.
So now I mock
My writer’s block
And from my bed
Thank insomnia instead.
And now my daily burden done
I await the smiling morning sun
So I can say, “Good morning,” and then
Go happily back to sleep again.
Filed under Poems
Not All Calories Are Created Equal
Someone made a sandwich
With ice cream as the filling.;
They took a mighty gamble
But consumers were more than willing.
Then someone ate one of the sandwiches
And thought, “I really don’t like to chew”
So they added some pre-softened cardboard
And gave it the name “Great Value.”
Filed under Poems
Sports 101
Every sport on Earth
Is just humans playing fetch
With some extra rules.
Filed under Poems
What I Learned In Acting Class
Growing up means being sleepy
But working anyway,
Trying hard to not be creepy
While you earn your pay,
And maybe plotting a murder or two
But not giving that away.
Filed under Poems
A Portrait Of The Artist As A Working Adult
Sometimes I am sleepy
So I write a haiku
To fulfill my daily promise
Of writing poems for you.
Sometimes the day after
My sleepiness departs
And I grace you with a poem
About love or dogs or farts.
Other times my sleepiness
Remains in all it’s splendor
For sleep has been neglected
By me, it’s sworn defender.
And so on such occasions,
Hypothetical as they may be,
I write two haikus in a row
(And sometimes even three)
But tonight I use a tactic
Less observed but just as smart:
I write about my writer’s block
And pass it off as art.
Filed under Poems
He Has Become More Powerful Than We Can Possibly Imagine
Death hung up the phone
And looked upon the acres
Of tombstones,
Each of them for a deceased death,
Each of which also died
Minutes after receiving the same call.
From Chuck Norris:
“Ready for another try?”
But this time Chuck was ready
To pull an Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Death was just a means to an end…
Filed under Poems
The Best Part Of Waking Up
Pooping is great!
Pooping is fun!
Just sit on the toulet
And ploop! You’re all done!
Or if you are male
And/or have a phone
Pooping can give you
An hour alone!
Filed under Poems
Orthodox Inroverts
When people say “What would Jesus do?”
I take that to mean
That I should go underground
And for three days not be seen.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 