A Most Violet Shanty (Not A Typo)

Legend says upon the sea

Beneath the skull and bones

A tiny man with whose skin is tan

With a beard of violet tones

Command a stalwart legion

Or pirates, hard as granite

Who seek to steal from those in teal,

Themselves in pomegranate.

There’s never been a pirate captain

So dreaded to be seen

As the hook’ed hand of the crooked man

Called Captain Aubergine…

Some once called him a dandy man

And some called him a fop,

And that soon lead to many a head

Who’s rollings’ are yet to stop.

And there he’ll stand with sword in hand

And beard the brightest plum

And calls the rat to ladies that

For booty he had come!

There’s never been a pirate captain

So dreaded to be seen

As the hook’ed hand of the crooked man

Called Captain Aubergine…

When on the seas, the frigates fled

When purple sails were seen

For not a sailor, cook, or whaler

Fights with Aubergine.

They knew beneath that gold fedora

A brutal brain belongs,

But none escape pillage and rape

Nor his K-Pop pirate songs!

There’s never been a pirate captain

So dreaded to be seen

As the hook’ed hand of the crooked man

Called Captain Aubergine…

And when the Violet Virgin docked

(As the captain’s ship was called)

The folks in port were naught but sport

For the pirates so ribald.

They stole the bread and beans and rice

And even the polenta,

For nothing stops the pirate fops

Bedecked in their magenta!

There’s never been a pirate captain

So dreaded to be seen

As the hook’ed hand of the crooked man

Called Captain Aubergine…

‘Til finally one fateful night

‘Neath a sunset, heliotrope

A treasure trove in vibrant mauve

With scalawags did elope

And Aubergine was satisfied

And sailed off, drinking wine

To somewhere worse, where grass is perse

And the sky’s amaranthine!

There’s never been a pirate captain

So dreaded to be seen

As the hook’ed hand of the crooked man

Called Captain Aubergine…

At least that’s how the tale’s told now

Of Captain Aubergine…

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Filed under Lyrics, Poems

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