I had to walk ten city blocks
To find Café Joie.
That’s ten times the length in Washington
To find some plain coffee.
I paid a polite barista
With a blue, 20-loony bill.
The traffic lights are flashing green,
And I can buy a prescription pill.
I can calculate distances
By moving a decimal place,
And I can drive 100
Without being in a race.
It’s a different place than the USA.
Yes, Canada’s where I’ve been.
Now I publish this, just hoping
The “yanks” will let me come back in.
Filed under Poems
There once was a van-living hoarder
Who crossed the Canadian border.
He lost his way,
So he asked a cop “eh?”
The cop figured all was in order.
And so the directionless dude
Asked locals who were eating food.
They said “bla bla bluh.”
The van-guy asked “huh,”
And found himself viciously booed.
And so the van-guy found his way
Back to Where-He-Was-From, USA.
There’s a moral somewhere,
But you probably don’t care,
And it’s probably better that way.
Filed under Poems
The beaver is an animal
That’s really pretty swell.
It’s Canada’s national animal
And it’s waterproof as well.
Gosh, I love the Beaver
As it slaps its tail on the water,
And it had a television show
Years before Harry Potter.
And guy, I find it snazzy
And I’d venture it’s spiffy too,
That beavers always give a damn
And about them, you can too.
So next time a beaver steals your lunch,
Instead of trying to retrieve it,
Just agree to part with food,
And to the beaver, leave it.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 