Tag Archives: Dumb

On The Importance Of Proper Labeling

I hear the sound of fallen snow

Like the moment before applause,

The echo of previous silence,

A silent question’s pause.

My ears softly ring

From what’s no longer there.

And I silently sigh inside myself

And lie back in my chair.

Where once I was an emperor,

A man respected, feared,

For whom the wicked trembled

And for whom the righteous cheered,

Now I sit, a man alone,

Completed in rebirth.

In the silence now I tell myself

“I thought the other button nuked the Earth!”

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We Won’t Even Go Into The “Mom’s A Virgin” Thing

One of the beloved songs

Is titled “Silent Night,”

Of story of a night where all

Is calm and all is bright.

With the writer of the song

I want to have a chat.

A silent night where all is bright?

What kind of night is that?

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*With The Exception Of A Few (You Know Who You Are), This Was More A Matter Of Finding A Proper Rhyme Than Actual Disrespect

I respect dumbells.

They have a valuable job.

By lifting them up we grow stronger

Faster than eating corn on the cob.

I don’t respect bad drivers

And people from Northeastern states*.

I suggest we rename them “dumbells”

And call dumbells “single-hand weights.”

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Oh, Also I’m Sick

Sitting on a bus

Waiting to go home.

I don’t feel creative at all.

The driver is gone.

If this moment were art

It’d be the plain red stripe on a hotel wall.

Dogs are pretty.

Pretties are not always dogs.

If you thought you’d be happy

With this poem’s conclusion

Reread the first two lines.

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Not Really… #YOLO

Thirty-six hours in the hospital

And $17,000 dollars later

I regret my Halloween in Florida

And bobbing for that gator…

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And That Is Why Some People Shouldn’t Have Dragons…

If I get a pet dragon

(For business or for kicks)

I’ll hide it in my dungeon

And prob’ly call it Trix.

I’ll feed it little children

To give it a dragon’s fix,

But mostly for the privilege of saying

“Silly rabbit, kids are for Trix!”

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Now There’s A Joke!

Golf

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