Tag Archives: Dumb

Really Strained For That Rhyme… But Seriously! I Want Meat With Little Pits For The Syrup!

They have hot dogs; they have buns.

They have lunch meat; they have pancakes.

The equivalence I want to know:

What sort of meat a pair with waffles makes.

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Don’t Do Drugs… Or Poetry

If I had a chicken

Made of a golden laser beam

I’d think the Altoids that I bought

Were not as they would seem…

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Green Power Meets Greek Power

A giant electric windmill met Sisyphus

And asked, “Do you like music, man?”

Sisyphus said, “Anything but rock and roll.”

The turbine said, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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Based On Actual Song Lyrics

Doowop, doowop.

Doowop bebop shadooby.

Wicky-wicky, chicka-chicka,

Doowoppa scooby dooby.

Boobop, baddop,

Badoppawop pizazz!

If you think this poem’s stupid

Then you REALLY must hate jazz.

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African Chant (My First Attempt)

I think African people

Should name more children “Enad”

‘Cause then people would ask

“Where’s your kid?”

And then Enad would walk in

And people would say “Hi Enad”

And the parents would get upset

Because they think their kid got hyena’d

But then they’d realize the irony

And laugh

And laugh

And laugh some more

Because they were the real hyenas all along.

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Watch… It’ll Be A Baby Name Too In 2035

A fantasy author was getting tired

Of calling things dragons, and so he hired

A marketing guru and said “Hey, it’s lame

“That all of these dragons have the same name!”

So the marketing guru sat down and thought

That people didn’t use “Y” quite a lot,

So he proposed the namesWyvern and Wyrm

And both those became an acceptable term.

Alas, Mr. writer will probably live

Long enough for his stories to give

The inevitable climax, the ultimate sin:

A book where the monster is spelled as “Dragyn”.

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Seriously… It’s On I-5 Exit 135. Now THAT Is Optimism

No matter how bad a day you had

You’re not as bad off as the guy

Who made an SOS out of rocks beneath the overpass

In case a savior might fly by.

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I Just Wanted To Rhyme Things… Don’t Overthink It

If I had a baby shark

I’d never need an exclamation mark.

If I had a baby llama

I’d never use another comma.

If I had pets that numbered myriads

I would be all done with periods.

Alas, my only pet’s a cat

So there! I’m done, and that was that.

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Deep Thoughts

I think of all the seaweed

The one that gets the most teased

Has got to be the kelp

‘Cause their name rhymes with help.

I think of all the jewelry

The one suffering the least tomfoolery

Would have to be the silver

By the same logic as previously.

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Silver Water

In the shadow of a waterfall

Of moonlight’s silver steam

Was a mist of lunar H2O

In a dazzling metal stream,

Beneath which bubbled puddles

Of the element AG;

The moon was very full, unlike

My repertoire of analogies.

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