Tag Archives: Dumb

Deep Thoughts

I think of all the seaweed

The one that gets the most teased

Has got to be the kelp

‘Cause their name rhymes with help.

I think of all the jewelry

The one suffering the least tomfoolery

Would have to be the silver

By the same logic as previously.

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Silver Water

In the shadow of a waterfall

Of moonlight’s silver steam

Was a mist of lunar H2O

In a dazzling metal stream,

Beneath which bubbled puddles

Of the element AG;

The moon was very full, unlike

My repertoire of analogies.

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If You’re Reading This Enthusiastically, You’re Missing The Point

Happy happy happy.

Joy joy joy.

Yippee yippee yippee.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy.

I can’t wait. I’m excited.

I’m overwhelmed with wow.

If you think exclamation marks are dumb

You do not think so now.

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True Stories from a Man’s Kitchen

Today I made some cheesecake

That I got from a mix.

I mixed a lime and whipping cream

With several cream cheese sticks,

But when I picked the mixer

To taste the final yum

I realized I forgot to add the mix

And yes, I’m really that dumb!

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It’s Not Funny At All Until You Read It Out Loud, Out Of Context, To Your Friends

Toses ate ted

Violets ate blue.

Appatently changing a lettet

Makes things hungty, ctew!

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It Began As A Sleepy Soliloquy… It Ended As A Halftime Show

It’s past the time I need to go

To sleep, but here am I

Writing rhymes that rhyme sometimes

As many times I try

And why I try, I cannot lie,

Is just to try my luck

‘Cause I have no skill, but possibly still

I’ll be famous if I say white people suck.

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Alpha, Delta, Omicron…

A kid with jelly on his hands

Picked up a DVD

And put it in to watch a film

On their big screen TV,

But yet alas, the dirty disc

Got stuck around halfway

And it repeated the same old scene

Even when they pressed “play.”

Then finally they’d had enough

And said “I’ve had enough,”

Pulled out the disk and wiped it off

Then did some other stuff.

A five-year old can figure out

When something isn’t right

To make a new plan without delay

And still have fun that night.

And yet the leaders we voted for

Have yet to grasp this thought,;

Instead they say “shots didn’t work…

“How ‘bout another shot?”

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We Won… But At What Cost?

The “New World Order” people

And Illuminati really

Missed the point; That making people

Into sheep is kinda silly.

After all, who wants to conquer

A bunch of people dumb enough

To fall for propaganda

As insane as modern stuff?

The Vikings and the Mongols

Had at least old-fashioned pride,

And made sure that their detractors

Fought in wars and mostly died.

But today, old-fashioned values

Like rape and pillage have degraded

To where “rape” means being male

And “pillage” means “medicated.”

And so if all the people

That conspiracies suggest

Cancel all the good among us

And then rule o’er all the rest

I wish them much good fortune

When their conquest is complete.

They’ll starve in perfect harmony

While the cancelled grill their meat.

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Smart Guys = Not Hot

I said “Hi.”

She said “Hello.”

I said “Don’t use big words like that.”

Now I am her beau.

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A Sense of Scale

Some people say a football player

Is really, really large.

What’s bigger than a football player

Is probably a barge.

What’s bigger than a barge

Is a thousand-trillion ants.

Nothing bigger than that

Exists outside my pants.

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