Tag Archives: Dumb

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

I brought a dozen roses,

A diamond, and a kitten

To serenade by starlight

The lass with whom I’m smitten.

I sang “Every Breath You Take”

To my very special girl.

Then she locked me in her laser sights

And sang me “Goodbye Earl.”

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When You Think “That Would Rhyme Well,” Realize You Were Wrong, And Don’t Fix It

There once was a man named Jared Russ

Who was fond of munching canned asparagus.

He ate it all the time

But for lack of a rhyme

Often said things were Ceteris Parabus.

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Misleading Titles (Also Pure Fiction Except Lines 4, 7, and 8)

I sit here at the bus stop

Reading Fifty Shades of Grey

(Which I got at the library

‘Cause for that crap I won’t pay)

And as I skim from the intro

Until the final line

I see one quite clear shade

But where’s the other forty-nine?

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Waldo and the Disturbing Lack of Spiritual Guidance for Fictional Persons

Many kids found Waldo

When themselves were kids.

They found Waldo in a crowd

‘Cause that’s just what they did.

Some grown-ups still have Waldo

Waiting on their shelf,

But how many people thought

To help poor Waldo find himself?

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What We Learned: Don’t End A Line With “Desserts”

Lemon flavored water,

Lemon cheesecake and desserts,

Lemon flavored pepper

Are a few examples of how, with lemons, society flirts.

The only lemon item

That people don’t enjoy

Are actual plain ol’ lemons.

(Also maybe lemon bok choy).

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We Are The Sum Of Our Experiences

Have you ever seen a sunrise

And thought “that’s very yellow?”

Have you ever met a stranger

And known you do not know the fellow?

Have you ever started a poem

Without knowing how it will end?

If so I have to ask you

To stop trying to steal my identity.

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Or You Mite Be Letting Siri Type Four Ewe

If you prey at a alter

And like you’re time their,

You watch the news and think

That how the world works isnt fare,

Youve misplaced yor resume

But will happily give you the jist

Than you might bee looking four jobs

Via a web sight like Craigslist.

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