One day when I was falling asleep
I watched a video of some guys
Pressing a button to time themselves
Without using their eyes
And now my entire video feed
Is infested with “buzzing pros”
And YouTube disabled any way
Of never again seeing those…
Tag Archives: True Story
The Daily Mistake
Every day I write some rhymes
But in these most uncertain times
I find some days I have forgot:
I meant to write, but I did not.
Yesterday was an instance such
Where my discipline did lose its touch.
But now I’m back! Fear not my friend!
These cringeworthy verses have yet to end!
Filed under Poems
You’re Used To It By Now
5:00 AM alarm
Set for wake up tomorrow
Thus, it’s haiku night!
Filed under Poems
Six Years Old And Already Screaming About Stuff That Doesn’t Matter
Today I taught a first-grade class
And of the 18 kids
Six were joys, six were invisible,
And six blew off their lids.
So one of three will be successful
And one in three will be cute
And one in three do nothing, but loudly
Which is just who the Feds will recruit.
Filed under Poems
Marriage Means Always Discovering New Things
Today I discovered
That farting into the air purifier
Makes the lights go red
And the fans go brrrrrrr.
Today my wife discovered
That she made a terrible mistake
By not saving her farts
Until she was closer to the air purifier.
#Love
Filed under Poems
Just Do Something!
I have started many a poem
Upon this empty screen
And deleted many an opening line
Never again to be seen,
Censored preemptively many a thought
And pitilessly pruned prose
And yet still end up with something like this,
Illustrating how much writing goes.
Filed under Poems
Girls Just LOVE Exfoliating
My forehead is sunburnt
And peeling a bit.
My wife, for some reason,
Is playing with it,
Peeling my flesh off
With childish glee
And I love that I found someone
Weirder than me.
Filed under Poems
Amusing Musings In A World Without Muses Blues
Today I got up early
Around 5:00 AM or so. Um,
I spent my morning working
But not writing a poem.
I ate my lunch and read a book
With my mind never immersed
In considering a meter
Nor its counterpart of verse.
This evening after dinner
I took a shower hot
And massaged my wife’s posterior
Without a single thought
Regarding writing poetry,
Yet presently I’m writing it
So if you’d beat your writer’s block
Perhaps you should stop fighting it.
Filed under Poems
The YouTuber’s Origin Story
One camera.
Two fools.
Three hours of editing.
Zero rules.
Nine minutes
About a cruise.
Two hours later
Seven views.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 