Tag Archives: True Story

He Was All Willful And Majestic And Got Reunited With His Human Friend…

Tonight we watched a movie

About a very macho horse.

Was it a beautiful film? Yes!

And an excuse for a short poem? Of course!

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Pokemon Release Day

Today I woke at 5:00 AM

To play a video game

Where I got to go to school

With a crocodile made of flame

And ride a living, dragon motorcycle

Far across the land,

Throwing balls at animals

So they’re at my command.

I took a day off work for this,

Ignored my social life,

Forgot to take a shower with

The girl who’ll be my wife.

All this is the triumph

Of a fully grown adult

Whose parents never let him buy

A pumpkin catapult.

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She Said Yes!

There once was a poet who asked

“Girlfriend, with marrying me will you be tasked?”

She said “Yes, ‘cause you’re weird

“And have a sexy beard.”

Then in congratulations we basked.

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Sometimes Inspiration Doesn’t Help

There once was a writer’s-blocked poet

Who needed to write but didn’t want to blow it.

He Googled “poetry prompt generator”

And five minutes later

Took a photo of the prompt, and here he will show it:

Really, internet? Really?

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Morning At The Vineyard

It’s morning at the vineyard

And the weather’s looking fine!

We sing hurrah and pick syrah

By bunches off the vine.

There’s Malbec for our jelly

And cabernet for wine,

Filling bucket after bucket

With pickers numbering nine.

My girl may have partaken

Of a bottle from last year.

The leaves stay green and limber

Though its fruit will disappear.

With truck beds full and spirits high

We loose a mirthful cheer!

Now we’re on the highway home

With the pickers we hold dear.

Tomorrow we’ll de-stem the lot

And barrel it to wait

Until next year’s excursion

Or ‘til 2028.

It’s a family tradition

So we all participate,

Bottling mornings in the vineyard,

Packing memories by the crate.

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I’m Like Mario, But Not As Famous Or Italian Or As Irrationally Compelled To Hit My Head On Boxes

Today my shower broke

And it sprayed everywhere.

The hose that moved the water

Had ripped a mighty tear

So I went to Home Depot

And bought a fixy thing

With a non-torn doohickey

And an intact rubber ring.

I screwed it on the spiggot

Where the water starts to pour

But with the new doohickey

The flow’s not limited anymore

And it makes an awesome shower,

Like emptying ten semi trucks

Full of water. One more reason

Why life in California sucks!

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Art School Pays Off

Today I drew a cat.

Everyone said “Nice pig.”

They recognized it was an animal

Which, progress-wise, I think is big!

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Never Ask Family For Poetic Inspiration After 9:00 P.M.

There once was box knife named “Cat Scratch”

And Brian May’s guitar named “Big Red”

And my mom said “Write about rhubarb”

And now I’m going to bed.

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True Love, 2022

Upon the sofa down we sat,

Eating ice cream, happy, fat,

Eyes on the TV, wearing no pants:

This is my ideal of romance!

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Also, I Won My Girl A Stuffed Llama, So I’m A Better Boyfriend Than You 😋

I went to the state fair today;

We ate scones and rolled in the hay.

We waited in line

Both to ride and to dine

But ‘twas worth it for plenty of play.

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