Sixty-one candles,
Two and a half beards
Celebrating your many,
Many, many, many years.
I wrote these stanzas
To know that you smiled.
Happy Birthday Mom
From your second-best child.
Tag Archives: Mom
The Obligatory Mom Poem (Love Ya Mom!)
My mom is great, amazing, fine,
Perfect and extraordinary.
I’m grateful to her for all she does
And not naming me “Norman Harry.”
My mom is splendid, glorious, good,
Supremely radiant and such.
She supports my rhyming habits,
Even if it’s a bit too much.
My mom is strong and good-looking
And her children are above average.
She’s a fixture of nature,
Like a coral reef or lava-ridge.
My mom’s terrific, pretty good,
And her favorite color is purple.
She’s cuter than a bumblebee
And sweeter than maple-surple.
There are so many adjectives
That my mother can be.
She changed the world a thousandfold
By giving birth to me.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
The First Family: An Earlobe Story
It started as an earlobe,
Lonely and aware
That it would be much more complete
If it could make a pair,
And so it looked and listened
And so grew its ears and eyes,
And it found a brain, a face, and hair
That to its side it did bind.
And soon the first lobe found a second
And a head the two became.
They thought they’d met their goals,
Yet they still felt kind of lame,
And so the head sought out a body,
And the body sought out limbs
And soon the lobes could walk around,
And searched the world for hims.
Sure enough they found him:
Another lobe-turned-body,
And the lobe pair fell in love
‘Cause the he-lobe was a hotty.
And the bodies mixed and matched
And made a smaller version
Of themselves, and out it pushed,
Desiring an excursion.
And so was born a child
And the lobe became a mother.
The first kid was a sister
And the second was a brother.
And that is how a family
In my mind has been portrayed.
I love you mom, but seriously,
How was I really made?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 