Tag Archives: Birthday

I’m Too Old For Lumps Or Finger Painting, But Maybe She’ll Hang This On Her Fridge Instead?

Today is my mother’s birthday.

Her birth did occur on this date.

In honor of her I caused this poem to occur

And published it moderately late.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Happy Birthday Becky!

Today’s my lady’s birthday

(And this time it’s not my mom).

She’s redheaded and pretty

And I think she is the bomb.

She kicks my butt at Mario Kart

And grabs my butt covertly

And when anybody speaks ill of her

I tell them off quite curtly.

She’s 25 years old today

And full of fun and grace

And I’m going to feed her lots of sugar

And kiss her adorable face

And then, dear reader, after dark

We’ll do our favorite things. An

Act of love and passion

By which I mean play Wingspan.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

It’s My Birthday, So You HAVE To Like The Post

Today is the day if my birth,

When I first breathed the air of the Earth.

Because of my exodus

From my mom’s uterus

I now create poems with mirth.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Notice I Didn’t Mention Her Age 😋

Happy Birthday Mother!

You gave birth like no other

Yo me and my sis,

So you I will kiss

And otherwise shamelessly smother!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

When Gen Z Starts Procreating

If I ever have a baby

With the person I call “Honey,”

I will name it “In the Headlights”

‘Cause when we sing “Happy Birthday” it’ll be funny.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Happy Birthday (And You Smell Like One Too)

Jubilations on the most recent anniversary

Of your extra-uteral emergence into the nursery.

Your visage has an undeniable simian similarity

And your olfactory signature is also resemblant, although cursory.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

For Those Of You Wondering…

Whether getting or giving,

As long as you’re living,

No matter how epic the thrift

It will always be true…

(Just between me and you)

Life insurance is a bad birthday gift.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

What We Really Mean

Happy birthday Facebook friend!

This past year your life didn’t end.

You didn’t factor much into my life.

We’re only friends ’cause of my wife.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Back To The Future XVII

Today is my birthday.

I’m seven days old.

From now on when they tell me

“Park the DeLorean”

I’ll do what I’m told.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

If By Some Zany Coincidence It Happens To Be Your Birthday Today…

What a day! 

May 25!

Let’s celebrate that 

You’re still alive!

Some years were good,

Some years were tough,

But we celebrate them all

By buying you stuff!

The folks you know

Will email and call

And write well wishes

On your Facebook wall.

And then at the end

You’ll be delighted to see

This snazzy poem

To you from me.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems