Tag Archives: Birthday

The Archives Were Consulted

One day before you joined the world

Lufthansa airlines formed.

Then nothing historical happened for four days.

That’s because by being born

Our hearts were properly warmed

And the world sat back and let your glory blaze.

After you joined the world

Pope Pius X became a saint,

Which I know your Catholic interests already knew.

What was never told outright

Is that he was the second saint

To join the canon. Of course the other one was you.

After you came things like Velcro

And the integrated circuit.

By seven you could play with cordless drills.

Later on was born your man

And after that a Sony Walkman

Could give you on-the-go musical thrills.

So we’ve established that you’re old

But our hearts have not grown cold

Since your little saintly self did first appear,

So I wish a happy birthday

To my best and only mother

And wish that this will be your next best year.

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Listening Is Hard

“What do you want for your birthday?”

So many have asked this of me,

Yet I still have zero doomsday devices

And seventy-two graphic tees…

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I’m Too Old For Lumps Or Finger Painting, But Maybe She’ll Hang This On Her Fridge Instead?

Today is my mother’s birthday.

Her birth did occur on this date.

In honor of her I caused this poem to occur

And published it moderately late.

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Happy Birthday Becky!

Today’s my lady’s birthday

(And this time it’s not my mom).

She’s redheaded and pretty

And I think she is the bomb.

She kicks my butt at Mario Kart

And grabs my butt covertly

And when anybody speaks ill of her

I tell them off quite curtly.

She’s 25 years old today

And full of fun and grace

And I’m going to feed her lots of sugar

And kiss her adorable face

And then, dear reader, after dark

We’ll do our favorite things. An

Act of love and passion

By which I mean play Wingspan.

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It’s My Birthday, So You HAVE To Like The Post

Today is the day if my birth,

When I first breathed the air of the Earth.

Because of my exodus

From my mom’s uterus

I now create poems with mirth.

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Notice I Didn’t Mention Her Age 😋

Happy Birthday Mother!

You gave birth like no other

Yo me and my sis,

So you I will kiss

And otherwise shamelessly smother!

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When Gen Z Starts Procreating

If I ever have a baby

With the person I call “Honey,”

I will name it “In the Headlights”

‘Cause when we sing “Happy Birthday” it’ll be funny.

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Happy Birthday (And You Smell Like One Too)

Jubilations on the most recent anniversary

Of your extra-uteral emergence into the nursery.

Your visage has an undeniable simian similarity

And your olfactory signature is also resemblant, although cursory.

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For Those Of You Wondering…

Whether getting or giving,

As long as you’re living,

No matter how epic the thrift

It will always be true…

(Just between me and you)

Life insurance is a bad birthday gift.

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What We Really Mean

Happy birthday Facebook friend!

This past year your life didn’t end.

You didn’t factor much into my life.

We’re only friends ’cause of my wife.

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