Today is my mother’s birthday.
Her birth did occur on this date.
In honor of her I caused this poem to occur
And published it moderately late.
Tag Archives: Birthday
I’m Too Old For Lumps Or Finger Painting, But Maybe She’ll Hang This On Her Fridge Instead?
Filed under Poems
Happy Birthday Becky!
Today’s my lady’s birthday
(And this time it’s not my mom).
She’s redheaded and pretty
And I think she is the bomb.
She kicks my butt at Mario Kart
And grabs my butt covertly
And when anybody speaks ill of her
I tell them off quite curtly.
She’s 25 years old today
And full of fun and grace
And I’m going to feed her lots of sugar
And kiss her adorable face
And then, dear reader, after dark
We’ll do our favorite things. An
Act of love and passion
By which I mean play Wingspan.
Filed under Poems
It’s My Birthday, So You HAVE To Like The Post
Today is the day if my birth,
When I first breathed the air of the Earth.
Because of my exodus
From my mom’s uterus
I now create poems with mirth.
Filed under Poems
Notice I Didn’t Mention Her Age 😋
Happy Birthday Mother!
You gave birth like no other
Yo me and my sis,
So you I will kiss
And otherwise shamelessly smother!
Filed under Poems
When Gen Z Starts Procreating
If I ever have a baby
With the person I call “Honey,”
I will name it “In the Headlights”
‘Cause when we sing “Happy Birthday” it’ll be funny.
Filed under Poems
Happy Birthday (And You Smell Like One Too)
Jubilations on the most recent anniversary
Of your extra-uteral emergence into the nursery.
Your visage has an undeniable simian similarity
And your olfactory signature is also resemblant, although cursory.
Filed under Poems
For Those Of You Wondering…
Whether getting or giving,
As long as you’re living,
No matter how epic the thrift
It will always be true…
(Just between me and you)
Life insurance is a bad birthday gift.
Filed under Poems
What We Really Mean
Happy birthday Facebook friend!
This past year your life didn’t end.
You didn’t factor much into my life.
We’re only friends ’cause of my wife.
Filed under Poems
Back To The Future XVII
Today is my birthday.
I’m seven days old.
From now on when they tell me
“Park the DeLorean”
I’ll do what I’m told.
Filed under Poems
If By Some Zany Coincidence It Happens To Be Your Birthday Today…
What a day!
May 25!
Let’s celebrate that
You’re still alive!
Some years were good,
Some years were tough,
But we celebrate them all
By buying you stuff!
The folks you know
Will email and call
And write well wishes
On your Facebook wall.
And then at the end
You’ll be delighted to see
This snazzy poem
To you from me.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 