The Red Shirt Tells All

I graduated first in my class

From the Juilliard theater school.

I auditioned for a sci-fi show

I thought looked pretty cool.

I showed up at the studio

At 6:15 AM

To help film the now-beloved

Sci-fi classic show for them.

I went to see the costume folks.

The gave me scarlet shirts,

And asked me “are you wearing

Something where, if you fall, it hurts?”

With my adamant denial

They sent me to the stage

Where I memorized my script

Which totalled almost half a page.

The crew was very friendly.

The set was very cheep.

They had a token black girl

And the captain was a creep.

I asked about my character.

“What is his last name?”

They said “he doesn’t have one.”

Such was my first taste of fame.

To this day I look back and smile

When I watch that episode

Where 1:17 into it

A monster roars and I explode.

It was my only great achievement,

And I cannot tell a lie

But at least my job stability

Trumped that of Firefly.

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