I went to a gathering of people
Who like to drink and drive,
Pull quickly into traffic…
On recklessness they thrive.
They’re the reason we have accidents
And I almost forgot to mention
That there were lots of nerds there.
It was a start wreck convention!
Filed under Poems
“chay’ leghlaHbe’wI’ chaDo’maq SoH?”
tlhob HoD picard.
wo’rIv, jatlh “ghoS nude bIQ’a’ HeH’e’
“‘ej ‘e’ ‘oH let DaqaSmoHbej.”
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“How do you spot a blind man?”
Asked Captain Picard.
Worf said, “Go to a nude beach
“And you’ll see that it’s not hard.”
Filed under Poems
I graduated first in my class
From the Juilliard theater school.
I auditioned for a sci-fi show
I thought looked pretty cool.
I showed up at the studio
At 6:15 AM
To help film the now-beloved
Sci-fi classic show for them.
I went to see the costume folks.
The gave me scarlet shirts,
And asked me “are you wearing
Something where, if you fall, it hurts?”
With my adamant denial
They sent me to the stage
Where I memorized my script
Which totalled almost half a page.
The crew was very friendly.
The set was very cheep.
They had a token black girl
And the captain was a creep.
I asked about my character.
“What is his last name?”
They said “he doesn’t have one.”
Such was my first taste of fame.
To this day I look back and smile
When I watch that episode
Where 1:17 into it
A monster roars and I explode.
It was my only great achievement,
And I cannot tell a lie
But at least my job stability
Trumped that of Firefly.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 