Tag Archives: Acting

One Trapdoor Mishap Later…

I went through a stage when I was an actor.

I think the hole in the floor was a factor.

The said “Break a leg,” so I did obey.

Now I have my own cast I don’t have to pay!

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Think Of A Clown, But Creepy, Then Laugh A Lot And Act Evil…

Jared Leto, as The Joker,

Made “Suicide Squad” tolerable.

Joaquin Phoenix, as The Joker,

Made his film a billion-dollar-able

Heath Ledger, as The Joker,

Took the Oscar world by storm

And Jack Nicholson, as The Joker,

Was creepy, as per the norm.

Cesar Romero, as The Joker,

Was a true comedic villain.

With nothing but his voice

Mark Hamill made The Joker chilling.

Looking at this track record

All I have to say

Is maybe… (bear with me) maybe…

Joker’s an easy roll to play?

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A Commoner Poem

If I were cast in Game of Thrones

I think I’d be a peasant

‘Cause I’m a lousy actor

And my death would be more pleasant.

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Rodin’s “The Age Of Bronze” Talks About His Career Change

I am a person made of bronze,

Carved from orangish metal.

My body looks so human

But I’m closer to a kettle.

I’ll never move, I’ll never speak,

I’ll never love or feel.

I’ll never be a human,

But I’m absolutely real.

I’ll never learn of math or art.
I’ll never know a fact.

I’ll have no skills in anything,

So I guess I’ll have to act.

My body’s perfect, ageless, strong

Although I can’t be dumber

And thus I’ve come to Hollywood,

Renamed “The Up-And-Comer.”

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The Red Shirt Tells All

I graduated first in my class

From the Juilliard theater school.

I auditioned for a sci-fi show

I thought looked pretty cool.

I showed up at the studio

At 6:15 AM

To help film the now-beloved

Sci-fi classic show for them.

I went to see the costume folks.

The gave me scarlet shirts,

And asked me “are you wearing

Something where, if you fall, it hurts?”

With my adamant denial

They sent me to the stage

Where I memorized my script

Which totalled almost half a page.

The crew was very friendly.

The set was very cheep.

They had a token black girl

And the captain was a creep.

I asked about my character.

“What is his last name?”

They said “he doesn’t have one.”

Such was my first taste of fame.

To this day I look back and smile

When I watch that episode

Where 1:17 into it

A monster roars and I explode.

It was my only great achievement,

And I cannot tell a lie

But at least my job stability

Trumped that of Firefly.

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The Accent Dilemna

Doncha just haydit

When folks go writin’ wurds

Like folks and such would say it

‘Stead of how they are surpursed (to be spelled)?

I’m reading a play at the moment

That’s a sufferin’ from this fate.

We start rehearsin’ it tomorraw.

Is it, out to back, too late?

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