I’m Off To The Wild West… California!

When I was a little bitty boy

So young it was okay to be strange

I wanted to be a cowboy

And ride the wide-open range.

My best friends would be a stallion,

My rifle, and my hat.

Needless to say as I grew up

My life diverged from that.

I play cards at the old saloon

When my work’s done for the week.

I drive a sleek black mustang

And I’m sometimes known to wreak.

I may sit behind a desk

Playing quick-draw with my phone

But I really just want to saddle up,

Ride off, and be alone.

A few things stand between me

And the life I’m meant to lead.

In the Chicago city limits

I can’t buy a proper steed.

I look quite like a bad boy

So the ladies are all smiles and purrs

But they never die at the end of the episode

And they object when I wear my spurs.

In my heart I am a cowboy.

I dress and talk like one

And, thanks to the permit office,

I can own my own six-gun.

It has to be locked up

Separately from the ammunition.

But tomorrow I’m moving West

To fulfill my grand ambition.

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