Tag Archives: Western

In Case You’d Forgotten

Back in the Western USA

In 1800 somethin’

A couple cowboys realized

Their hearts, they were a thumpin’.

The cowboys had been life long friends

And though they both were male

They rode to Brokeback Mountain

And they gave up on the trail.

Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-yodel-addle-ee!

Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-odel-sodomy!

We used to have some cowboys

To protect our town from raids,

But now we have to check

Our cowboy guardians for AIDS!

They use to be quick to the draw

But now they have more fun

With the sheathing than the drawing

Of their aforementioned gun!

Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-yodel-addle-ee!

Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-odel-sodomy!

One cowboy found his saddle’s

Grown less comfortable with time. He

Found this was the case

Unless their romance they would stymie.

But the cowboys needed horses

Like they found they needed lasses

And they replaced their ponies

With one another’s (whoaaa!)

Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-yodel-addle-ee!

Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-odel-sodomy!

Yodel

Oodle

Yodel

Adel

Odel

Soooooooo…

Doooooooo…

Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

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Filed under Lyrics, Poems, Songs

High Noooooo Thank You!

He strode into town,

A wayfaring stranger,

His haunting black eyes

An invitation to danger.

The gun on his belt

Had been recently shot.

“Seems like a bit

“Too much trouble,” I thought.

So as he turned left

And hitched up his horse

I turned to the right

And continued that course

‘Til I got to the city

And started to grin

Knowing that was a Western

I wouldn’t be in.

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Filed under Poems

I’m Off To The Wild West… California!

When I was a little bitty boy

So young it was okay to be strange

I wanted to be a cowboy

And ride the wide-open range.

My best friends would be a stallion,

My rifle, and my hat.

Needless to say as I grew up

My life diverged from that.

I play cards at the old saloon

When my work’s done for the week.

I drive a sleek black mustang

And I’m sometimes known to wreak.

I may sit behind a desk

Playing quick-draw with my phone

But I really just want to saddle up,

Ride off, and be alone.

A few things stand between me

And the life I’m meant to lead.

In the Chicago city limits

I can’t buy a proper steed.

I look quite like a bad boy

So the ladies are all smiles and purrs

But they never die at the end of the episode

And they object when I wear my spurs.

In my heart I am a cowboy.

I dress and talk like one

And, thanks to the permit office,

I can own my own six-gun.

It has to be locked up

Separately from the ammunition.

But tomorrow I’m moving West

To fulfill my grand ambition.

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Filed under Poems

The Last Amiable Sheriff

Hi there partner!
I’m Sheriff Steve.
I like riding on my pony
To deter those who thieve.

I only carry a gun
For shooting bottles at the quarry,
But if that makes you nervous
Then I assure you, do not worry.

Because Sheriff Steve has other ways
Of detaining unlawful sorts:
A friendly smile, a stern “now, now,”
And some more witty retorts.

There’s little crime in this town of mine
So I’m doing a good job.

These were the last words of Sheriff Steve
As he greeted Outlaw Bob.

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Filed under Poems

A Great Post from Someone Else

I found this poem in my travels,

And it brought to me a smile.

Go check it out, it’s worthy of clout,

And it’s certainly worth your while.

 

http://themindselbow.blogspot.com/2014/01/git-along-little-rhymers.html

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Filed under To the Reader

Love on the Range

I once met a cowboy
Who went ba the name o’ Jed.
Had a cactus for a pilla,
And the prairie was ‘is bed.
He done met a lass he fancied,
Who went ba the name o’ Mary,
But he lost interest when
He couldn’t get her into prairie.

I wanted a home
where the buffalo roam,
And to wake at the rise of the sun.
Well I got like I wanted,
But my thoughts still are haunted
By my daddy waving ” Good Bison.”

There once was a matchmaker
Who lived in Dixie land.
Whenever folks got married,
In it, she had a hand.
Well you should hear what she said
When her own love did end:
“Good sir, you want to ride this horse,
But this horse just wants to be friends.”

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Filed under Poems