Literal Dream Girl

She’s happier than Finland

And classier than France.

She wears a pair of ballet flats

But doesn’t like to dance.

She’s prettier than actresses

But doesn’t care for fame

And her love for me lasts longer

Than a perfect Tetris game.

She cooks better than Emeril

And sings better than Cher.

She thinks the latest Star Trek film

Was “adequate to fair.”

She’s quieter than silence

And daintier than mist.

The only problem I can see

Is she does not exist.

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