Tag Archives: Women

But Both Are Equally Boring When Presented By The Intellectual Elite

I questioned the need

For vagina monologues.

Why we needed them was a mystery.

Then I realized

That the penis dialogues

Was basically just all of history.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Paper Heart

Twenty years or so before

I turned the age of 24

I feared to give a paper heart

To that one special lass.

Ten years after, now 14

I’ve had my eye on other queens

But my feeling for the paper heart girl

Never seems to pass.

In the present world we find

Our troubled and still childish mind

Called to give the other sex

Eternal loyalty.

I’m loyal to who understands

My paper heart and shaking hands.

Does she still exist? Perhaps

In ten more years we’ll see.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

She’s Lying…

Everything’s fine.

I won’t get mad.

I don’t care about your exes.

I’m almost ready.

I’ll call you right back.

I don’t mind you buying that Lexus.

I really don’t care.

I really don’t mind.

I really (insert anything here).

No, I’m not jealous

And if we get married

I’ll never make you watch Shakespeare.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Answer, At Last!

All the single ladies

Ask where all the good men went,

Dreaming of the good old days

When the six-foot-plus millionaires

Without egos or exes

Would contact them conveniently

And buy them stuff

All without leaving the house.

Meanwhile the six-foot-plus

Drama-free millionaires

Are in their basements

Roleplaying car thieves

And writing bad poetry blogs.

You’re welcome.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Dating A CEO

I did some ideation

On the topic “you and me”

And I want to move the needle

To upgrade our synergy.

I figured I would reach out

And shift your paradigm

To show how being in my wheelhouse

Is an impactful use of time.

So let’s break through the clutter

Via disruptive innovation

And prepare mind share initiatives

Through casual conversation

And I hope that going forward

Thanks to holistic execution

This relationship of ours

Will have a win-win resolution!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Why Men Pray

When a woman tells you yes

She means it could be so

Unless she’s getting dressed…

Then it definitely means no.

And if a woman tells you no

It is a no, no questions asked

Except when she wants you to be bad

Or do what you have not been tasked.

But the scariest thing you’ll ever

Hear a woman say

Is when she smiles and seems alright

And tells you “I’m OK.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

A Feminist Unicorn

She is a shining unicorn

Cloaked in righteous fire.

To her all that’s unequal

Is an injustice dire.

A gynocentric unity

Is all she needs for bliss

And society might like her

If she didn’t look like this:

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems