And God made man
And of man he said:
“He shall be a good companion
“Every day until he’s dead.”
And God made woman
And of woman did proclaim
“Three out of four weeks
“She’ll be basically the same…”
Tag Archives: Women
But How Long Does It Take To Walk A Dog?
As I age, I realize
How many rejections were not lies.
It turns out her washing her hair
Does take the entire evening. So there.
Filed under Poems
Let It Be
A woman asking for advice
Is like a cat exposing its belly:
You can do what you think is nice
But it’s going to end up really yelly.
Filed under Poems
Gateway Drugs
One cat is a pet.
Two cats can be dear.
Three cats are a warning sign
That menopause is near.
Four cats are a danger
And five cats scream a warning.
That said, my wife thinks 6+ cats
Just make for a snuggly morning.
Filed under Poems
Sincerely, Guys
Event people nationwide
I humbly implore you:
If you have a craft fair
You should have a gun show too
So mom can get a crocheted scarf
And dad a .22
Filed under Poems
And They Complain About “Football Time”
April the 4th, 1902:
His wife said, “We’re leaving in 5.”
Today his wife’s ghost put on her shoes
And asked, “Hey, why aren’t you alive?”
Filed under Poems
Sophie’s New Choice
Equal wages or
Pumpkin-spice in everything…
White girls, whatcha got?
Filed under Poems
Every. Single. Month.
In thirty seconds
She can laugh and scream and weep
‘Cause water is wet
Filed under Poems
