Tag Archives: Women

Dragons > National Debt

A princess was stolen by dragons

Some hundreds of eons ago

And instead of waiting to be slain

The dragons just stir-fried the hoe.

The kingdom saved money on dresses

And a new sense of peace was acquired.

The dragons had balls, which meant

That dancing at balls ain’t required.

The knights stopped jousting each other

For no prizes were there to be won,

And the taxes went down, people made fewer gowns,

And the populace had lots of fun.

When you don’t have to pay for a princess

How happy the white knights can get.

The only downside is the dragons

Whose tummies have gotten upset.

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Divorce, Basically

She liked the way he smiled

So she waited ’til he slept

Then grabbed a pair of scissors

And into his room she crept.

She scissored off his jawbone

And hung it on her wall.

Now he pays her alimony

And sees the kids once every Fall.

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Apparently Pearls And Swine Are Equal

A feminist told me

“All men are pigs!”

And I almost took some offense.

Then another told me

“Men and women are equal.”

Now the first woman’s making more sense.

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I Can Safely Write This Because She Doesn’t Read My Blog And Is Imaginary

Some sayings sound satisfying

But don’t apply to real life,

Like “what comes up must come down”

Doesn’t work for the weight of my wife…

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Why Not “Sally?”

Everyone compares me to Godzilla,

Which is weird because she’s ugly and I’m cute.

She’s a monster, but I’m an ordinary teenager.

Guess that’s what happens when your name is “Satanewt.”

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Dating A 30-Year-Old

You ask will I love you

When you’re not a young lass,

When your hair’s gray and saggy

And so is your ass,

When the passion is gone

And the money is thin

And everything hurts

‘Neath our wrinkly skin.

Our hands come together

And I look straight at you.

“Of course I will darling!

“I already do.”

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How Else Would You Pass The Time When You’re All Tied-Up, Half-Naked, And Waiting For Rescue?

I bet that back in elder days,

When dragons roamed the sky

And virgins all got kidnapped

To be rescued by some guy

That said virgins played a game

Where, in a future land,

They were ordinary citizens

Who love they did demand

From virgins playing games

In which they acted like a knight

Rescuing imaginary virgins

Kidnapped by dragons. Am I right?

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