The Barista Song

I’m not smiling ’cause I’m happy;

I’m smiling because I am cold,

And I must pay for heat and something to eat

Until I grow fatally old.

I’m not smiling ’cause I like you;

I’m smiling because I need gas,

So I turn up my lips to encourage more tips

And, if that fails, wiggle my ass.

My smile is not one of pleasure

And the tears that I hide have no joy

And I, every day, pray for a bump in my pay

As I serve you your mocha with soy.

I’m not smiling ’cause I want to.

I’m not laughing ’cause I’m amused.

I just try to look fun ’cause I’m broke, 21,

And the universe makes me confused.