I wanted to be a journalist,
A master of the black and white,
But they said “You can’t ’cause you’re a bear.”
I studied far and wide
And bought the AP style guide,
But still no one would hire me… no fair.
Then one day I got a deal
To write one article for real
About how to better manage stress.
It was temp work, but hey!
Now I’m honest when I say
I am the only true Panda, Ex-Press.