Tag Archives: Puns

Extremely Forced Naughty Jokes Are Tight!

It might mean very different things

When I say to my girlfriend

“I still can’t understand you,”

Followed by: “Come again?”

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

They Called It “Animal Control Headquarters”

I went to the zoo.

There was only one dog there.

It was a shih tzu.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Why I’m Not A P.I.

If you try to stalk someone

And eventually fail

It would be worth your time

To work some retail.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Spa Ha Ha

I asked how much it costs

To get one’s pubic region waxed.

They said “A Brazilian dollars,”

At which point I relaxed.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Jurass-is-Grass

The Tyrannosaurus Rex

Was stalking the jungle

And feeling incredibly violent

When, soundless and yellow,

Urine hit the fellow

For the Pterodactyl’s pee is silent.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Discover Why Mexicans Use Visa*

“Black guys play the black card.”

That’s how white people said it

Before they made the Master Card

And gave themselves the credit.

*This poem contains no mention of American Express because I couldn’t think of a good “Underground Railroad” joke, and also no one uses American Express.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

When You Catch Someone’s Eye(s)…

Tonight I came to realize

That if you see the world through another’s eyes

You might see, through this new view,

That someone made a horror movie based on the sick, eye-stealing you.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems