Tag Archives: Puns

Like Duck Puns… BUT BETTER 🔥

If you want a large-beaked bird

A pelican will do.

If you want a big-beaked philosopher

Then Peli Kant’s for you.

If you want a big-beaked marsupial

Try pelikangaroo.

If you want other big-beaked puns…

You guessed it: Pelican-do.

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Oh Sheet…

I started a band where we’d play

Stuff other folks played first. OK?

Then I did discover

Such a band’s called a Cover,

And thus I named our band “Duvet.”

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Just Peachy

I saw a gal I thought was cute

So I asked her thoughts on pitted fruit.

She said she thought plums were great

So I asked “How ’bout a date?”

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When Nerds Die

While I was at a funeral

I had to share a thought.

I stood and shouted “Plethora!”

They said “Thanks. That means a lot.”

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I Got Game?

My sex life is like a game of bridge,

And I don’t mean bland:

I don’t need a partner

‘Cause I have an awesome hand.

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Want Some Drink With Dose Fries?

The french-fried potatoes

That I bought from Wendy’s

Are covered in tattoos

And wear pants around their knees,

They complain about white privilege

And say “sup” instead of “hey.”

That’s when I remembered

That today is black fry day.

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Bye Bye Wings

A fly was buzzing around my head.

It drove me up the wall!

I took away its Red Bull

And now it’s just a crawl.

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