Tag Archives: Puns

I Got Game?

My sex life is like a game of bridge,

And I don’t mean bland:

I don’t need a partner

‘Cause I have an awesome hand.

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Want Some Drink With Dose Fries?

The french-fried potatoes

That I bought from Wendy’s

Are covered in tattoos

And wear pants around their knees,

They complain about white privilege

And say “sup” instead of “hey.”

That’s when I remembered

That today is black fry day.

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Bye Bye Wings

A fly was buzzing around my head.

It drove me up the wall!

I took away its Red Bull

And now it’s just a crawl.

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…The Bass, That Is

My DJ name is “Other Shoe.”

I’m the cream of the DJ crop.

No matter what other DJs do

They wait for “Other Shoe” to drop…

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Poem: Bad, Pun: Also Bad

We who play accordions

Know the Native Americans want us

Because they want to have a kid

And name it Polkahontas.

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Me Too/Two/To

After my boss said “You’re fired”

I bought the Harley I’d always admired

But without my car

I don’t travel too far.

I think it’s because I’m two-tired.

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Harrr Harrr Harrr…

I found myself marooned

Off the coast of Kansas (somehow)

And saw another pirate was near.

He was selling corn

So I asked about the price.

He said “You’ll only pay a buccaneer.”

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