Tag Archives: Puns

Me Too/Two/To

After my boss said “You’re fired”

I bought the Harley I’d always admired

But without my car

I don’t travel too far.

I think it’s because I’m two-tired.

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Harrr Harrr Harrr…

I found myself marooned

Off the coast of Kansas (somehow)

And saw another pirate was near.

He was selling corn

So I asked about the price.

He said “You’ll only pay a buccaneer.”

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A Pun Not Worth It’s Setup

I jumped in a pool

And grabbed a flotation device,

But that floating noodle

Turned out to be lead.

I don’t know

How it managed to fool me

But, thanks to that impasta

Now I am dead.

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Also, Just Kinda Gross

They asked me to hold up

Fermented canola, you see.

I refused the order…

Sounds like supporting rapeseed culture to me.

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Concrete Washington: Folk Hero (Or Just Denzel’s Brother)

Indiana Jones was a big success

(Until 2008).

You have to wonder if similar names

Would enjoy a similar fate

Like Alaska Round, detective

Or Iowa Guysummoney?

Idaho Youhadhertoo?

Would people find these funny?

Kansas state thing be abused

Or must we resort to towns

Like Helena -West Helena Johnson

Or, better yet, Cleveland Brown?

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Why Don’t Serial Killers Fly?

The pilot said I could not fly

With two corpses. I wanted to fight him

But the rules were clear: I could not bring

More than one carrion item.

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Peasant Problems

They told me to lift dumbbells

‘Cause my arms were far too thin.

I couldn’t check if they were right

‘Cause Congress wouldn’t let me in.

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