Tag Archives: Puns

Dating Asian Women?

My girlfriend left me yesterday,

Just took her stuff and went,

Yet left behind a little gift

For her now former-gent.

She left a bottle of soy sauce,

My sorrows for to drown.

She just could not resist the urge

To Kikkoman when he’s down.

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Perhaps The Most Elaborate Pun Yet…

I want a sci-fi movie

With a lisping protagonist

Who steals bladed weapons

From a man who reshaped a board.

The reason why is simply

I want them to beat the antagonist

Not with a light saber

But with a lather’s sword.

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And Who’s This Floyd Guy Anyway?

We could talk about the ego,

Super-ego, or the id

But I don’t think that does justice

To the amazing things Freud did.

Anyone can acknowledge

That people’s brains are weird,

Have a couch to lie on,

Or grow a snazzy beard,

But how many psychiatrists

Can also play guitar

Like Dr. Sigmund “Pink” Freud did?

That guy was quite a star!

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‘Ow Ore-ible!

I said I was her rock,

Her anchor, her wall.

She sold me to a mining company.

Alas, that is all.

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But It Makes One Bicep Look Bigger…

Some of you may believe

That I wear my heart on my sleeve

As a matter of choice,

But don’t heed that voice.

There was a surgeon who’s since taken his leave…

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That’s Pronounced “She-it”

Apparently my teachers were wrong

And there aren’t boys and girls.

Turns out gender is “representational,”

Or so the new story unfurls.

Seeing that sex doesn’t matter

To whether you’re he, she, or other

I think we need a singular pronoun

That applies equally to one another.

In the past we were male and female

And likewise called he or she.

Apparently the gender-neutral

Is also important, so they tell me.

So I have an unbiased option

To represent them, me, and you:

We can just say humans are SHeIt.

It has all three pronouns, and also is true!

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Subtle Differences

One man’s treasure is another man’s trash.

That’s what I’ve heard them say,

But I find the statement even more true 

If you take the “is” away.

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