Tag Archives: Puns

Not Quite A Heartache

I heard him tell her “You’re breathtaking,”

And I thought “That’s nice, isn’t it.”

Then I realized it was a guy with a lisp

Who just punched his wife on the tit.

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This Poem Simultaneously Existed And Didn’t (Until You Saw The Title)

If the name of Ivan Pavlov

Doesn’t ring a bell

Then I know an Erwin Shrodinger

Whose tale I can tell.

He got himself arrested

Despite being a scientific whizz.

He wasn’t sure he killed someone

But they told him and now he is.

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Cautionary Tale

A visitor had phone sex

With a couple of hotel maids.

He thought he couldn’t get an STD

But now he has hearing aids.

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When You’re Not Picky About Who You Befriend

My friend has 70 statues of legs.

I don’t know how he got ’em,

But I know if he ever spanks a statue

He’ll likely hit rock bottom.

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British Humour

Some folks saw jousting

On the english channel,

But those folks weren’t me:

What I saw was guys

Playing poker knight

On the BB sea.

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My Foray Into French Poetry (It’s a 12y)

When I went to France

I got a pet 4.

I 5 to my knees

And I gave it a pat.

I wanted to pet it

But was told to 6.

If you don’t know French numbers

You’ve had e9 of 10.

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Genesis

God made twelve hours of light and dark

In an alternating way

Then sat a while

And with a smile

Decided to call it a day.

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