Tag Archives: Puns

Plot Twist: They’re Canadian

My ducks were quacking noisily,

Apparently upset.

That’s as close to “In a row”

As my ducks ever get.

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Mother’s Always Right

My mother told me

“You know you’ve hit rock bottom

“When you spank statues.”

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But What Was He Wearing? (Breathes Heavily)

Obi Wan Kenobi

Was arrested yesterday.

He force-pushed a clone trooper

Who had been in his way.

“In my defense, the trooper

“Was swearing as I recall,”

Said Obi Wan, the Jedi

Who made an obscene clone fall.

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At The Drei Goods Store

I met an old man born in 1919,

A genuine centenarian.

He was burdened with many a bag

So I helped the man with some carryin’.

His bags were filled with red cabbage

And I asked “Are you vegetarian?”

Turns out he fought in World War II;

He was a veteran aryan.

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Hey Batter Batter…

I’m my softball league’s head chef;

For optimal nutrition

I like to make a Bundt cake

To get guys in a scoring position.

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Watch Yourself

Please keep the word mum

‘Cause I did something dumb:

I ordered a clock.

Now at my door, a knock!

I fear my time has come…

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But How Many Decimal Places?

I once knew a shepherd named Sadie

Whose business was just a touch shady.

She had 79 sheep

When she went to sleep

Then she rounded them up and had 80.

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