She asked me for a diamond necklace.
I gave her a diamond whose shoulders touch its head.
She asked me for a diamond necklace
But I gave her a diamond neckless instead.
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Tag Archives: Puns
Not Quite A Heartache
I heard him tell her “You’re breathtaking,”
And I thought “That’s nice, isn’t it.”
Then I realized it was a guy with a lisp
Who just punched his wife on the tit.
Filed under Poems
This Poem Simultaneously Existed And Didn’t (Until You Saw The Title)
If the name of Ivan Pavlov
Doesn’t ring a bell
Then I know an Erwin Shrodinger
Whose tale I can tell.
He got himself arrested
Despite being a scientific whizz.
He wasn’t sure he killed someone
But they told him and now he is.
Filed under Poems
Cautionary Tale
A visitor had phone sex
With a couple of hotel maids.
He thought he couldn’t get an STD
But now he has hearing aids.
Filed under Poems
When You’re Not Picky About Who You Befriend
My friend has 70 statues of legs.
I don’t know how he got ’em,
But I know if he ever spanks a statue
He’ll likely hit rock bottom.
Filed under Poems
British Humour
Some folks saw jousting
On the english channel,
But those folks weren’t me:
What I saw was guys
Playing poker knight
On the BB sea.
Filed under Poems
My Foray Into French Poetry (It’s a 12y)
When I went to France
I got a pet 4.
I 5 to my knees
And I gave it a pat.
I wanted to pet it
But was told to 6.
If you don’t know French numbers
You’ve had e9 of 10.
Filed under Poems
