Tag Archives: Puns

When Movies Aren’t In Chronological Order

Dab and Deb were walking

To meet up with Dib and Dob.

(Dub was nowhere to be seen).

Then Dab began to sob.

The first sentence is the beginning

And the third one is the ending.

Someone said “Smack Dab in the middle of it.”

Now wasn’t that mind-bending?

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‘90s Kids Won’t Get This Joke

Dr. Pepper was hit by an iron

He recently confessed.

When asked how he was feeling

He said “I’m soda pressed.”

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Typical Bird Answer…

A young male eagle was hunting

And swooped down on a dove.

He asked his girl, “What now?”

And his girl squawked, “Eat prey, love.”

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Do I *Detect* A Garment That Doesn’t Fit… That’s Unsuitable

Geico has a gecko,

Aflac has a duck,

But my insurance company

Has no such mascot luck,

So instead of selling policies

I’ll be a stock-market trader

With a well-dressed crocodile mascot

Called the Investi-Gator.

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When You Stretch For The Pun And Hurt Yourself

I want what a former president may do

Were he a bird who saw a speck

‘Cause I don’t like the words “and a.”

I want a Bush’ll peck.

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One Trapdoor Mishap Later…

I went through a stage when I was an actor.

I think the hole in the floor was a factor.

The said “Break a leg,” so I did obey.

Now I have my own cast I don’t have to pay!

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The Heroes We Need

The closest of friends

Were Buttock and Cheek.

One was quite hairy,

The other quite sleek.

Whenever the world

Seemed wrong for a bit

The two came together

And stopped all that shit!

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OI?

Someone told me

R*pe jokes aren’t funny.

I said, “You’re right, they’re knot.”

The time wasn’t ripe

To leave anyone hanging,

So I used a different * than they thought.

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Is This Too White, I Wonder ™?

Body and bread,

Sword and sheaf;

Stalk of muscle,

Blade of leaf;

Sweet or sour,

Baked or no;

It rises within us:

Tae Kwon Dough!

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Low Siento…

Somewhere, there’s a Mexican wizard

Who can’t hear what people say.

I’ve heard he’s a deaf supremacist

And a member of the “Que? Que? Que?”

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