That Was My First Mistake

When a child is chosen

To come down from Heaven

They’re given a choice

From between one and seven

On how hard a challenge

They want life to be.

Here’s a few quick examples

For you now, from me:

One is a plant

In a jungle somewhere

Far away from the humans

With lots of clean air.

A two is a puppy

In a rich white guy’s home

With unlimited treats

And a whole yard to roam.

A three’s like a two

Until that fateful day

When you start as a “he”

And the vet makes you “they.”

A four is a human

Who lives all their days

With a big happy family

And an annual raise.

At five you have troubles

Like sickness or fear

And just 500 likes

On that pic of your rear.

At six life can seem

Like an old country song,

But you can take comfort

That it won’t last too long.

And seven’s just you

In a hospital bed

With a Taylor Swift song

Ever stuck in your head.

I hope that this helps you

Decide your next fate.

I know that, before life,

A lot’s on your plate.

No matter your choice though

You’ll probably be fine

Unless you’re a poet

Who asked, “Hmm… what’s nine?”

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