Tag Archives: Happiness

BTW I’m Not Jewish

She lay beside me

Still in her white dress.

My mouth was alight in her taste.

Her skin was like russet.

Her body was slender

From tip-to-tip, straight in the waist.

She was my fantasy,

Food on my table,

Sustaining me all through the day.

So although it is weird

To put a dress on bacon

I do it ’cause she is my bae.

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The Optimist Manifesto

There are no starless evenings

And never will there be.

Nothing stops existing

Just because you cannot see.

If you call a glass half-empty

Or say one plus three is two

You do not hurt reality

Except the part that’s you.

And if you look up at the sky

Upon some cloudy night

And say the stars are lovely

When there’s not a star in sight

That doesn’t make you foolish

And you’ll only seem a dope

To those who never knew of faith

And have forgotten hope.

I pledge to always be the fool

Who calls a crow a dove,

Who calls the wind the breath of God,

Whose sin is too much love.

While I may not know what’s real

I know that I know not

So why not choose to fill the void

With one more happy thought?

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No Signal

Last evening I went to a party

To enjoy silly games with my friends,

To gaze in their eyes and avoid all the lies

That daily the Buy Stuff Guild sends.

But when I arrived at the meeting

I found my compatriots dead

For they talked as robots, just of things, not of thoughts,

Comparing what their Facebooks said.

Now I wander the streets, I the phoneless

Through the crowd who feel proud of their debt.

Is there still a someone who is friends with the sun,

To whom strangers’ hellos are no threat?

Though I may be lost I still wander

And my home is wherever I’m free.

As I whistle alone, just a man with no phone,

I hope that you’ll smile back at me.

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Checkmate Feminists!

Men are from Mars.

Women are from Venus.

You can’t be happy

Without a hap-piness.

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The Placelandian National Anthem

Placelandia! We celebrate

The nation that is not a state,

The place where politicians come to die!

Where residents have common sense

And our plan for national defense

Is not to be a dick to folks nearby.

Placelandia! We celebrate

Our lack (so far) of Watergate

Or other nasty scandals of that kind.

Where citizens think differently

And something backs our currency;

A country built with happiness in mind.

Placelandia! Placelandia!

A nation that can safely be ignored.

Placelandia! Placelandia!

Where drama-seeking tourists will be bored.

Placelandia! We celebrate

That here nice guys can get a date

And nobody is told they must comply.

Where everybody owns a Glock

And Fox exec Rupert Murdoch

Would not have had to cancel Firefly.

Placelandia! We celebrate

A place mostly devoid of hate,

Where legs just shave themselves if given time.

We hope you have enjoyed this song

And pop stars didn’t sing too long

Before the very easy ending rhyme.

Placelandia! Placelandia!

It’s a pretty snazzy kinda joint.

Placelandia! Placelandia!

Okay, okay, okay! We get the point!

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Celebrating The Freedom To Be Lousy At Stuff

All around me I see boring artwork

I hear songs and and poems I despise,

Read novels with no satisfying endings

And look at them through someone else’s eyes,

Thus what once seemed like a bunch of rubbish

From the perspective of the makers, though they’re dopes,

I know as long as we are free to make this sort of crap

We’re free from those who’d seek to crush our hopes.

So if you feel tired of the daily,

The regular routine has got you down,

Why not draw a purple line on canvas

And sell it to a bank somewhere in town?

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I Guess The Un-Levered Few Don’t Reproduce As Much

Somewhere around the first year ever

Somebody pulled a very wrong lever

And installed in the heads of the humans to come

What, on paper, looks brilliant but is really just dumb.

When man 1.0 emerged from the ocean

At the dawn of all time he was filled with the notion

That life as he knew it as far as he could see

Was something to be taken seriously

And a serious life, as he deemed at that time

Was to have the most wealth in the light of the lime.

So man 1.0 went on to fight wars,

To invent Gods and whiskey and sliding glass doors

Each sincerely believing his life was endowed

By something that made his life special somehow.

And meanwhile the malfunctions who wanted no power

Would sleep in on Sunday and sing in the shower

And wholeheartedly laugh at the hard-working host

Knowing he who wants least will end up with the most.

And so it continues by chance or by fate

That despite each progressive human update

The lever once thrown has not yet been undone

Thus why so many people have so little fun.

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