They call me smart, they call me dumb,
They call me nice, and yet a bum,
The call me wise, they call me fat,
And somehow I am all of that.
As a body part, you love me;
As a personality, you hate
There’s a decent chance that I’m the thing
That helped you get a date.
So grab me or embrace me
In body and in soul
But please personify my cheek
And steer clear of my hole.
The Daily Travesty 