Want to give stopping crime a try?
We’ve got police and the FBI,
The CIA and TSA
And yet crime just won’t go away!
I have a method that may just work:
If somebody is being a jerk
Feed them lots of food, ’cause who
Commits a crime when they have to poo?
When perpetrators are constipated
You’ll find most violence had abated;
If you don’t want to end up dead
Feed potential felons bread.