You’ve heard of fasting,
Juice cleanses, and diets.
I decided I’m growing
And thus I should try it…
But which one to pick?
Well, I like foreign dining
So I’ll eat naan and tacos
And avoid pain and whining.
We’ll have Greek food for lunch
And, for dinner, Korean.
Isn’t my ethnic cleanse plan
So delightfully freeing?
Filed under Poems
I’m on a new diet
Where I stand outside
As the rain pours upon me
And softens my hide,
Where the drumbeat of storms
And the wind’s icy whip
Shall grab fat from my bones
And from my body strip.
This diet’s approved
By the Gods of the gale,
Guaranteed by the ancients
To make man out of whale.
While such primeval cures
Do at first seem too frightening
I do endorse this diet
Of Thunder and Lightening.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 