Tag Archives: History

A Brief History of Humans

In the beginning
The world was flat,
The king was king,
And that was that.

Then peasants saw
They’d gotten screwed.
They grabbed torches and pitchforks
And got really rude.

Now the king wasn’t king
And the Earth was a sphere
And the peasants rejoiced
And drank all the beer.

A king was elected
Who told everyone
“The beer will be back
When my four years are done.”

But the beer wasn’t back
After the Earth’s fourth turn,
So the pitchforks were sharpened
And the torches did burn.

And now the beer’s back,
Which just goes to show
That society’s perfect.
And, well, now you know.

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One More (Just for the Helen of It)

There once was a hot chick from Troy
Who caught the eye of a boy.
They overreacted
And a war was enacted
And thousands of ships got destroyed.

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The Ides of January (Humberto’s Song)

Two months before Julius Caesar fell
Another death occurred.
The victim was Humberto Caesar,
The emperor’s pet bird.

Well Humberto was as loyal as
A domesticated bird could be,
But power comes along with a price:
Humberto had enemies.

Most prominent was Clint,
Brutus’s pet cat.
‘Twas a miserable furball of betrayal,
But every cat’s like that.

Well I don’t need to tell you
How Humberto was killed by Clint,
But being the Ides of January
Julius should have gotten the hint.

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