Tag Archives: Post Office

Elegy for an Expected Arrival Date

Next day shipping,
Two day ground,
One day flight.

With all these options
In the mix
Why’d two-day shipping
Still take six?

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Filed under Poems

How to (Shhhhhh!) Cheat the System

There comes a point in every man’s life

In which he forgets about a prior commitment.

In this case, I forgot to write a poem yesterday,

So technically I’m cheating.


As long as I’m cheating by writing yesterday’s post today

I might as well not write it poetically.

But I’ll insert arbitrary

Breaks in the lines

To give the sense

Of a stanza.


But I’ve lingered too long on meaningless excuses.

I’m going to teach you today how to cheat the system

(In case the title didn’t tell you)

By mailing any local letter for free.


Here’s how:


1:  Write and seal your letter as you normally would.

2:  Where you would normally address the envelope, write your address.

3:  Where you would write the return address, write the address you want to send the letter to.

4:  Put your letter in a public USPS box without a stamp.

5:  Smile as you save 42 cents by having the post office “return” it.


Disclaimer:  I never do this, and you shouldn’t either, if you know what I mean. 😉  (Although it is technically legal, so there are no consequences…)


Best of luck, and look for another travesty tomorrow… er, today.




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Filed under To the Reader