They say it would be terrible
To die in a fiery crash,
Your body immolated
And reduced to naught but ash.
Drowning might be worse to some
And freezing to another.
Regardless of your preference
For one death or another
We can agree that dying
Isn’t the most unlucky break;
That honor goes to living
To see another Disney live-action remake.
America is 250 years old plus a day
And my neighbors with fireworks won’t go away,
The hospital burn unit has beds to spare,
And thus I must ask what few men would dare:
Has firework safety law gone too far
And what’s our right action to lower the bar?
Real estate agents:
Helping you spend cash to pay
Money for more fees.
What do you put on a resume
To get one of those jobs
Where you sit behind a desk
With zero buttons or knobs
And fail to acknowledge customers
Because you’re so darn busy
Watching YouTube with subtitles
And gossiping about Lizzy ?
Filed under Poems
Tagged as Annoying, Humor, Life, Office workers, poems, Poetry, Postaday, Receptionist, Travesty
Updates are great!
Updates are fun!
Now please, dear customer,
Put down that giant gun.
FedEx guy in California
Has a job that’s really tough:
He sits inside a warehouse
That contains my purchased stuff.
The tracking number tells him
It needs to ship today
But he’s busy playing Solitaire
So my stuff will have to stay.
Body, toasty warm
Snuggled up with heavy eyes.
Bladder says, “What if…”
Pillow soft and cool
Sheets are clean. My feet are sore.
Now I have to pee.
They say there was a mermaid
With a very short torso
Even though she was seven feet long.
Some people have told me
That it’s a tall tale
And I tell them they spelled “tail” wrong.
Here lies our session,
Cancelled last minute
Because someone had finals.
That’s terrible, innit?
But why don’t you pick up
And play without one?
They’re sure to catch up
And the rest can have fun!
Well, “the rest” had a hard week
And one’s on vacation
And one’s had to work
‘Cause of some situation
And one’s having car trouble.
And got her hair done
So no game, but I’ve got
A whole pizza for one.
The Daily Travesty