Tag Archives: Annoying

Dear Everyone Who Has Ever Been On A Plane, A Bus, A Train…

If you don’t know what to say

You needn’t speak. It’s okay!

It’s only silence… don’t be scared.

Besides, odds are that no one cared.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Poetry > Humans

When, in poems, rhyming’s done

Most people think its lots of fun

But in day-to-day conversing

I notice the trend of fun reversing.

It’s as if, when someone speaks

And you interject a word like “creaks”

The custom of matching final phonemes

Becomes less fun than it, in poetry, seems.

So whenever people get in a huff

When my replies happen to rhyme with their stuff

I’m glad to use this blog as a replacement

For talking to people outside of my basement.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Dating A CEO

I did some ideation

On the topic “you and me”

And I want to move the needle

To upgrade our synergy.

I figured I would reach out

And shift your paradigm

To show how being in my wheelhouse

Is an impactful use of time.

So let’s break through the clutter

Via disruptive innovation

And prepare mind share initiatives

Through casual conversation

And I hope that going forward

Thanks to holistic execution

This relationship of ours

Will have a win-win resolution!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

And Yet We Still Believe It

So began the monologue:

“Yes, of course I’ll train the dog!”

And in hindsight this we see

Was the greatest lie in history.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Sorry Salespeople…

No, I don’t want to be famous,

Don’t want to have power or wealth.

I don’t even want to be happy

Or have peace of mind or my health.

I don’t want a house or a garden,

Two kids and a white picket fence.

I’d give up all these and my brainstem

Just to not hear your two-cents!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

My Feelings On Peaceful Protest

There is no force that’s stronger,

No emotion that’s more real,

Than the utter nothingness

Your complaining makes me feel.

There’s nothing within my heart,

Through whose beating I live,

More mighty than the many fucks

I really do not give.

Some see your signs and wonder

And some your cause will join.

I think “wait or hit the gas?”

Then smile and flip a coin.

So if you feel like marching

There’s at least one who won’t sway

And if you see a Ford Ranger

You’d be wise to move away.

4 Comments

Filed under Poems

Facebook “Conversations”

You know that feeling

When you have to sneeze but can’t

And your nose you already blew?

Imagine that feeling

For an hour or so.

That’s how it feels to be talking with you.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems