I think people would be happier
If once a day, for free,
They could take an eighteen-wheeler
Packed with TNT
And have a robot drive it
Into their neighbor’s chrysanthemum
But that’s very illegal
‘Cause the government is dumb.
I think people would be happier
If once a day, for free,
They could take an eighteen-wheeler
Packed with TNT
And have a robot drive it
Into their neighbor’s chrysanthemum
But that’s very illegal
‘Cause the government is dumb.
Filed under Poems
There once was a guy who made gizmos.
It cost him a dollar for three,
And he sold them to shops for a dollar a piece
Which seems okay so far to me.
The shop where they resold the gizmos
Put the price tag as $2.99
But they were always on sale for $2.50
Which still isn’t crossing the line.
So you pay your five bucks for two gizmos
But the government steps in to say
“A five-dollar price is all very nice
“But $5.25’s what you must pay.”
So you fish out a quarter to augment
The price of the gizmos you bought
But found that the cash in your pocket
Was less than initially thought
Because for each dollar of paycheck
A dime and a quarter were taken
To pay for the people who make up the rules
That say “Taxes are good, you’re mistaken.”
So that’s why when I shop for gizmos
I go to the maker and say
“Here’s a buck for your thirty-cent gizmo”
And we smile and go on our way.
Filed under Poems
There once was a child from Gestalt
Who thought mean words equaled assault.
Someone said “You are male.”
Now that sayer’s in jail
And I ponder who’s really at fault.
Filed under Poems
While I’m on the road
I shop for ammo online.
Times aren’t all that bad!
Filed under Poems
Sometimes you drive
To somewhere about
The middle of nowhere
And you go without
Cellular service
Or the internet.
I’m on my way there
So this poem’s all you get.
Filed under Poems
Some people spend their lives
Trying hard to do things right,
Making perfectly circular pizzas
And working through the night.
Other people live their lives
By doing what is fun
Though the pizza ends up looking
Like art the family dog has done.
Perfectionists unite, I say
And make the rocket ships
While the do-it-my-way folks
Make new flavors for the chips.
The harmony is perfect
Though perfectionists will glare
Because the have-some-funners
Smile back without a care.
But if the pizza’s spherical
Instead of round and flat
Take a bite: It tastes all right
And you’re the first to make it that!
Filed under Poems
How often do people say
“There aren’t enough hours in a day”?
But imagine a moment there were:
Picture a day with unlimited hours
For the sweetest of meals and the hottest of showers,
A day without limits of what you can learn,
How hard you can play, how much you can earn,
A day you can retry as much as you like;
You can say something stupid or fall off your bike
Without any fear, any anger or sorrow
Because all who saw you are now in tomorrow
While you’re still enjoying a day with no end
Side by side with a lover, a parent, a friend.
Now what if this day that went on and on
Had many an evening and many a dawn
And seasons and fashions pass by as you walk
At a slow, steady pace with no thought of a clock,
And you had sunny weather and hail and snow
And famine and fortune and high things and low?
That day went so long you were gray in the hair
And your skin started sagging and you’re just halfway there
To the end of a day with no finish in sight,
Growing old, doing good, all the while feeling right.
You remember a detail you knew all along
About what will come when the long day is gone:
When you see the last touchdown and rise of the sun
You’ll not shed a tear that you only got one;
You’ll feel no envy for those who keep going
Because this whole day, your whole life, you’ve lived knowing
You have all the time you will need, so you say
“Thank you for a life lasting only one day.”
Filed under Poems
IDK about IP,
If DSL allows VoiP,
Or if I’ll get PTSD
From studying about IT.
IDC I got a B…
I still got a BS Degree
Now I can sit and watch TV
And feel no burning when I pee.
IDGAF about
Telnet, USB, or a SaaS cloud.
All that is behind me now,
Like CD Rom and WoW.
Filed under Poems
Some people bought the story
Of pursuing fame and glory,
Of health and wealth and growing,
Running forward, never slowing.
I see those people every day,
Each burned out in their own way,
Faces lined by years and hassle;
I laugh inside my cardboard castle.
They are knights in shining armor,
Not satisfied to be a farmer,
Dying for causes another chose;
My armor is purple pillows.
They fight over feelings they never said,
Fighting a thought they’ve trapped in their head
For fear if people knew what they thought
They’d be revealed as someone not doing so hot.
I know I’m a no-one, and no I don’t care
As I play in my sandbox in fresh autumn air.
Maybe you mock me, but maybe you doubt;
After all, what if fun is what life’s all about?
What if the crusaders, celebrities, kings
Understand medals are just metal things?
What if they know, but their leisure depends
On you staying tired and having no friends?
Do you want to know if enough is enough,
If the pain doesn’t pay for the meaningful stuff?
Care to discover if your dreams can come true?
My castle has enough space to fit two…
Filed under Poems