Tag Archives: Apology

On Vehicular Abuse

On behalf of all the tires kicked,

The roofs slapped, the bumpers knicked,

The cars entered without consent

And sold by men with ill intent:

We confess that in the past

We used you and we moved too fast,

Judged you by color and age

And failed to pay you any wage.

Forgive we ask, and hear our pleas

To cars and trucks and SUVs,

And with your help we make this vow:

With you, we’ll go the right way now.

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Filed under Poems

Passing The Buck: Fear For Your Future

No, you didn’t miss yesterday’s poem. There wasn’t one. Well, OK, there was, but WordPress decided you would enjoy it more if it wasn’t made public. Here’s my sarcastic apology/today’s poem.

Since I made a promise

To write a poem a day

Nothing really has gone wrong,

That is ’til yesterday.

The Internet betrayed me

By publishing locally,

And so my broken promise

Was not the fault of me.

I’m apologizing.

This is the way things go.

Maybe I’ll fix it in the future

With a wall paid for by Mexico?

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Filed under Poems

Sorry for Welcoming You

Whenever that old writer’s block
Come upon my head to knock
You get a poem like yesterday’s
“You’re Welcome.”

After which poetic guilt
Covers me like the Nile’s silt
And I feel like I need to raise
Some Hell-come.

So I wrote this poem today
In my un-artistic way
To compensate for the shortness of
“You’re Welcome”

By challenging my self
(Though I didn’t do very welf)
By rhyming every ending line
With “Welcome.”

The Daily Travesty published one “poem” every day.
Tune in tomorrow for the poem,
“I’m sorry for apologizing, and this time I rhyme with ‘orange.'”

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Filed under Poems, To the Reader

How to (Shhhhhh!) Cheat the System

There comes a point in every man’s life

In which he forgets about a prior commitment.

In this case, I forgot to write a poem yesterday,

So technically I’m cheating.

 

As long as I’m cheating by writing yesterday’s post today

I might as well not write it poetically.

But I’ll insert arbitrary

Breaks in the lines

To give the sense

Of a stanza.

 

But I’ve lingered too long on meaningless excuses.

I’m going to teach you today how to cheat the system

(In case the title didn’t tell you)

By mailing any local letter for free.

 

Here’s how:

 

1:  Write and seal your letter as you normally would.

2:  Where you would normally address the envelope, write your address.

3:  Where you would write the return address, write the address you want to send the letter to.

4:  Put your letter in a public USPS box without a stamp.

5:  Smile as you save 42 cents by having the post office “return” it.

 

Disclaimer:  I never do this, and you shouldn’t either, if you know what I mean. 😉  (Although it is technically legal, so there are no consequences…)

 

Best of luck, and look for another travesty tomorrow… er, today.

 

Anarcho-Capitalistically,

David

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Filed under To the Reader