I said to my therapist
“I want to end it all,
To solve all of my problems
With a gun and/or a fall.”
My therapist nodded grimly,
Stared up at the ceiling fan,
And said “well, you’ve convinced me.
Thanks a million, man!”
In the end, I didn’t kill myself,
As nice as that would be
‘Cause when I die another problem
Will be waiting there for me.
Filed under Poems
They say there five universal fears
Which persisted throughout the many years.
All humans share these five
For as long as they’re alive
And are prob’ly why they buy so many beers.
The five, according to this citation
Are ego-death, extinction, mutilation,
Then loss of autonomy
(Which means not being free)
And the last one that they cite is separation.
What I learned from the article are these:
First, most people have no fear of cheese.
Also the magazine writers
Clearly don’t know about spiders.
Also, a dinosaur reading this agrees.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 