Tag Archives: Sick Days

December 14, 2025 · 9:33 pm

“Contagion” Is A Synonym For “Paid Time Off”

My wife has a disease

Where her nose is really oozy,

Her muscles ache, she’s sneezy,

And occasionally woozy.

She sleeps a lot and burps a lot

And makes a sound like “schplurk”.

I’m going to kiss her on the mouth

Then take some time off work.

I’m tired, dizzy,

Nauseous, weak.

I cannot smell.

It hurts to speak.

I cannot walk.

I long to die!

I can’t go to work

Nor (God forbid) lie.