Granite eyes and iron shoulders
And biceps built by crushing boulders.
He’s head to toe a man of steel
And he’s going to make you an exclusive deal!
For the modest price of fifty D’s
You can have the world fall on their knees
To worship and serve you as you please.
Let’s hear it for online pharmacies!
Filed under Poems
There is a Brazilian Spambot
That, about my blog, does care.
It thinks my articles are meaningful
And look! It’s got porn to share!
My dear Brazilian Spambot
Ensures at least one view a day,
And the folks on “girlsgonewild.com”
Might just get referred my way.
And my Spambot has a sister
Who is 18 years or olda’.
I think her name is Rachel,
Sarah, Bridget, Kate, or Golda.
So thank you lovely Spambot.
I hope this article informs.
Have fun with the rest of your day
Autofilling digital forms.
Filed under Poems
For those of you who did read the poem
That I posted on this blog yesterday,
This sonnet should not cause surprise to them,
For my identity’s taken away.
Now bank accounts and credit cards belong
To Prince Harjinder from Nigeria.
To Lifelock I am singing this sad song.
It was a scam. I’d no ideria.
Now my mortgage is foreclosed. Makes me sore
That people would do such a nasty thing.
But a Canadian pharmacist yore
Assures me I can get lots of free “bling.”
Disclaimer: I am not really this dumb,
But it makes for funny poems, ho hum!
Filed under Poems
So long suckas!
I got a lucky break!
A crown Prince from Nigeria
Has had trouble with the banks.
He’s offering me a deal
That I cannot refuse.
A hundred million dollars,
And he says it’s not a ruse.
I sent off to him my SSN
and bank account info today.
I should be awfully wealthy
By Sunday, and then hey!
Hey I’m stinking rich, all y’all!
Hey I’m as kingly as Kong.
And I helped bring about a dictator’s downfall.
What about this could possibly be wrong?
The Daily Travesty 
Blog Spam
Dear reader, I would like to say
That I learned something new today.
And, though I shouldn’t be, shocked I am
That people leave comments that are spam.
For instance, one I got today
Was a comment that did say
That my posting was informative.
Did they misread it, or are they conformative?
Anyone who reads and thinks
My posts are meaningful has indulged in drinks
Except for the infrequent ones,
But they are seldom very fun.
So if you think “this is good written”
Please do not make it something written.
I do not want to read your spam.
I already have some, Sam-I-Am.
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Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Tagged as Comedy, Comments, Poetry, Spam