So no one pressed the button
And no one cut the wire
And the number of both tocks and ticks
Is growing ever higher
And I’ve haggled and I’ve cackled
And liked, shared, and commented
But my existential ticking threat
Has in no psyche cemented.
I’m once again tequesting
That you face a villainous choice:
Press the button or cut the wire.
Go on and raise your voice!
That’s all for now my puny foes
And future grimly-oppressed.
Now I’m off to my one-bedroom lair
To scheme and be despressed
Filed under Poems
Can I write a poem
In exactly ten hours?
I could were I not so aloof.
See, it would be brilliant
But I’m insufficiently resilient
To answer your query: “Where’s the proof?”
Filed under Poems
I’m out of the sticks now
And wifi is back.
Dear vegans: I’m sorry
For my former attack.
From henceforth I promise
To not mock you any more
Than I mock anyone else
Who says “Tofu? J’adore!”
Filed under Poems
For those of you who did read the poem
That I posted on this blog yesterday,
This sonnet should not cause surprise to them,
For my identity’s taken away.
Now bank accounts and credit cards belong
To Prince Harjinder from Nigeria.
To Lifelock I am singing this sad song.
It was a scam. I’d no ideria.
Now my mortgage is foreclosed. Makes me sore
That people would do such a nasty thing.
But a Canadian pharmacist yore
Assures me I can get lots of free “bling.”
Disclaimer: I am not really this dumb,
But it makes for funny poems, ho hum!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 