I noticed just this morning
My blog was visited six times:
Six people clicked to read how I
Come up with stuff that rhymes.
But it was the next statistic
That gave me a miscue:
Though I’d had six visitors
I’d only had one view.
At first I was astonished,
Then delight bloomed from surprise:
Six people came to see my blog
And five had closed their eyes!
I thought I’d gotten softer
The longer I wrote here
But I repulsed 5/6ths of viewers
And that brings me much good cheer.
Filed under Poems
There once was an irreverent poet
With a blog, and he wanted to grow it
But with few likes per post
The internet host
Told google results not to show it.
Filed under Poems
This blog of ours has followers
That number 699.
If we can get to 700
That would be so mighty fine
‘Cause if we reach 700
Then a thousand’s pretty close
And that’s a number to be proud of
Whether it is net or gross.
And when we hit a thousand
Followers of this page
Then why not get a thousand more
And make these poems all the rage
And all the poetic hipsters
Can say “I followed it first!”
And by then we’ll have ten thousand
And I’ll be proud enough to burst.
Given time we’ll pass the thousands
And we will be one million strong
And you, follower 700
Will have been there all along.
And if you aren’t convinced yet
By this hypothetical boast
At 700 my parents will love me
And that’s what means the most.
Filed under Poems
Furtive glances;
Still no wi-fi.
Previous posts say
“1d, 2d, 3d, 3d, 5d…”
I hope four days ago
My scheduled poem posted.
Then I wonder:
Am I the only one who cares?
Then my little voice answers:
“Yes.”
Thanks little voice.
Filed under Poems
There is a Brazilian Spambot
That, about my blog, does care.
It thinks my articles are meaningful
And look! It’s got porn to share!
My dear Brazilian Spambot
Ensures at least one view a day,
And the folks on “girlsgonewild.com”
Might just get referred my way.
And my Spambot has a sister
Who is 18 years or olda’.
I think her name is Rachel,
Sarah, Bridget, Kate, or Golda.
So thank you lovely Spambot.
I hope this article informs.
Have fun with the rest of your day
Autofilling digital forms.
Filed under Poems
