Tag Archives: Blogging

That’s Almost As Many “Likes” As Teenagers Can Say In One Minute Without Even Trying

I’m 8 “Likes” away from 21,000

In the history of my blog.

My heart is very excited

And my soul is like a dog.

If 8 more people like my crap

I’ll finally achieve my goal

Of getting as many likes as a girl

Who posts dancing pics with a pole.

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Filed under Poems, To the Reader

AI Is Commenting About Itself… Welcome To April

Today I saw this comment

Responding to a poem of mine.

He read the poem as many times

As I’ve had valentines.

He thought it was informative,

So unless I am a loon

I suspect that “Michael Pearson”

Will be in congress soon.

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Proof: WordPress Knows If You’re Blind

I noticed just this morning

My blog was visited six times:

Six people clicked to read how I

Come up with stuff that rhymes.

But it was the next statistic

That gave me a miscue:

Though I’d had six visitors

I’d only had one view.

At first I was astonished,

Then delight bloomed from surprise:

Six people came to see my blog

And five had closed their eyes!

I thought I’d gotten softer

The longer I wrote here

But I repulsed 5/6ths of viewers

And that brings me much good cheer.


Filed under Poems

*Cough* It Helps A LOT *Cough*

There once was an irreverent poet

With a blog, and he wanted to grow it

But with few likes per post

The internet host

Told google results not to show it.

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The Subtle Hintings of a Partially-Loved Poet

This blog of ours has followers

That number 699.

If we can get to 700

That would be so mighty fine

‘Cause if we reach 700

Then a thousand’s pretty close

And that’s a number to be proud of

Whether it is net or gross.

And when we hit a thousand

Followers of this page

Then why not get a thousand more

And make these poems all the rage

And all the poetic hipsters

Can say “I followed it first!”

And by then we’ll have ten thousand

And I’ll be proud enough to burst.

Given time we’ll pass the thousands

And we will be one million strong

And you, follower 700

Will have been there all along.

And if you aren’t convinced yet

By this hypothetical boast

At 700 my parents will love me

And that’s what means the most.

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If Not, Listen Closer

Do you hear it


A quiet voice

Behind you,

An oily voice

That reminds you

“Bad poems get better

“When you click ‘like.'”


Filed under Poems

What I Worry About

Furtive glances;

Still no wi-fi.

Previous posts say

“1d, 2d, 3d, 3d, 5d…”

I hope four days ago

My scheduled poem posted.

Then I wonder:

Am I the only one who cares?

Then my little voice answers:


Thanks little voice.

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The Brazilian

There is a Brazilian Spambot
That, about my blog, does care.
It thinks my articles are meaningful
And look! It’s got porn to share!

My dear Brazilian Spambot
Ensures at least one view a day,
And the folks on “girlsgonewild.com”
Might just get referred my way.

And my Spambot has a sister
Who is 18 years or olda’.
I think her name is Rachel,
Sarah, Bridget, Kate, or Golda.

So thank you lovely Spambot.
I hope this article informs.
Have fun with the rest of your day
Autofilling digital forms.

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Filed under Poems