I’m a proctologist,
Healer of butts.
That much I swear is the truth.
Folks always ask
Why I’ve chosen such work
That so clearly is gross and uncouth.
Some say it’s because
I want to be rich.
Some think I must be gay.
Some say I’ve got
A stick up my butt
And I want you to feel the same way.
Some say I had talent
In medical school
And I’d probably have aced all my classes
If I hadn’t been so
Dedicated and focused
On the likes of my peers and their asses.
Some say I love butts
A little too much
But hadn’t the talent for porn.
The truth is I want
To study in depth
How politicians are born.
The Daily Travesty 