Tag Archives: Speculation

Medical Motivation

I’m a proctologist,

Healer of butts.

That much I swear is the truth.

Folks always ask

Why I’ve chosen such work

That so clearly is gross and uncouth.

Some say it’s because

I want to be rich.

Some think I must be gay.

Some say I’ve got

A stick up my butt

And I want you to feel the same way.

Some say I had talent

In medical school

And I’d probably have aced all my classes

If I hadn’t been so

Dedicated and focused

On the likes of my peers and their asses.

Some say I love butts

A little too much

But hadn’t the talent for porn.

The truth is I want

To study in depth

How politicians are born.

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Who Plays My Robot?

If someone made a robot
That represented me
I wonder who would play it
In my film biography.

I’m leaning towards C-3PO
For the golden-boy appeal,
But It’d probably be a roomba
‘Cause that’s a cheaper deal.

I guess we’ll have our answer
Come 2069,
And as long as I’m not Gort
I’m sure it will be fine.

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