Good morning, I’m your anchorman
Stu Earlyforme.
Today, Beverly Hills, 90210
Cleveland Browns, 3.
In an unrelated story
UPS has hired
For delivering heavy packages
River, a female tiger.
Though mostly quite successful
She’s been criticized of late. These
Critics say its dangerous
When the tigress River meets yo’ freight needs.
A new study from Harvard
Indicates the transgender switch
Can give patients speech impediments.
It’s titled “Man or Myth?”
And finally porn star ventriloquist
Ada Youknowwhat faced rejection
When pitching her new sitcom
Entitled “Yeast Inflection.”
The Daily Travesty 