Tag Archives: News

I Want To Be A Journalist Now

Some folks say women and men.

Some say females and males.

I say:

Some lives have a destination.

Some lives are about the journey.

Some people like kisses.

Some people prefer hugs.

Some are busy writing:

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The Morning News

Good morning, I’m your anchorman

Stu Earlyforme.

Today, Beverly Hills, 90210

Cleveland Browns, 3.

In an unrelated story

UPS has hired

For delivering heavy packages

River, a female tiger.

Though mostly quite successful

She’s been criticized of late. These

Critics say its dangerous

When the tigress River meets yo’ freight needs.

A new study from Harvard

Indicates the transgender switch

Can give patients speech impediments.

It’s titled “Man or Myth?”

And finally porn star ventriloquist

Ada Youknowwhat faced rejection

When pitching her new sitcom

Entitled “Yeast Inflection.”

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Sonnet: How It Feels To Not Log Onto Facebook For 48 Hours

As the stars align in the Summer sky,

As one century turns into the next,

So do we give thanks Bruce Jenner’s a guy

And people still call when, tempted, they might text.

We’re thankful that the world is small and flat,

That European powers rule it all.

Perhaps above all else we’re thankful that

No team would play with a deflated ball.

Yet as we smile, gratef’ly reminiscing

We dream of a future where a black man

Can be elected president, dissing

The establishment, saying “yes we can.”

And so we sleep comfortable in our world

Never suspecting it could be unfurled.

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Alas, I Have Succumbed 

I broke a lifelong promise

And I signed up for Twitter.

I did it without fireworks

And very little glitter.

I probably won’t post too much

But you never know.

May as well go follow me

To read the end of this po…
David Kappele @Daily_Travesty

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What The News Won’t Tell You

Mass media provides

A service in which they

Share public information

Of what happens every day.

But the news is not reliable

To show an uncomfortable scoop

Like the hundreds of would-be bombers

Who thought “nah, I gotta poop.”

No matter how they try

And no matter how they zoom

Cameras never show a person

Standing in an empty room.

They won’t report this poem

On MSNBC.

They won’t tell other countries

About you, him, her, and me.

So I spend time on Facebook

‘Cause the news is relevant there

Until I see pics my friend’s friend liked

And then even I don’t care.

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Coming Soon!

A vision achieved,
A dream come true,
And it’s coming
To a website near you!

I’ve promised at length
To take this blog far,
Whether through labor
Or a wish on a star.

Through a small bit of both
I’ve published a book!
And I want you, dear reader,
To have the first look.

By Valentines Day
It will be on the shelves,
Placed there by dozens
Of book-placing elves.

And once it’s available
You’ll have the full scoop.
‘Til then I leave you
With this poetical whoop…

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My (Almost) Big News!

Yesterday, an amazing thing

Almost happened to moi!

As the French would say, I almost was part

Of a menage-a-troi.

 

I was missing only one small thing

When all was said and done.

But I didn’t mind.  I found it fine,

My little menage-a-one.

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