Tag Archives: News

From One Fool To Another

Throughout history there are many stories of comedians, often called “Fools,” who wielded great political influence. These fools were gifted with a rare ability to communicate with idiots, which is why they were so often employed by politicians and autocrats.

Today I write not a poem, but a vague shout into the void. My hope is that, like the fools of old, an idiot will hear it and reconsider their position, if only for an instant; An instant is all gravity needs to move mountains.

A few days ago, two men experienced the worst days of their lives. George Floyd was executed without trial for the crime of cooperating with the police. Derek Chauvin, the executioner, was sentenced to the loss of ignorance and the knowledge of his own corruption.

For several days, numerous greater crimes were committed by those who deserved, but were not blessed with, Chauvin’s fate. These people gathered in cities across the nation to combat violence with violence, to protest an injustice against their neighbor by committing injustices against their neighbors.

I now write as an eager fool a few ideas I’ve pored over for all of 15 minutes in the shower, but consider to be true. If you share these ideals, share this message, that one fool shall join another (a phenomenon we’ve recently witnessed to be incredibly powerful). If you don’t, you have the opportunity to rid this fool of his foolish notions through the unlimited power of anonymous internet commenting.

My ideas are these:

A warrior’s enemy is not an opposing warrior, because their purpose is to create conflict. The warrior’s enemy is the peacemaker.

Hate of one thing does not fear hate of another, because their goals intertwine. Hate fears forgiveness.

A tragedy occurred because of heightened emotion, lack of empathy, abuse of power, and a failure to listen. Let us be the calm, empathetic, powerless listeners that tragedy fears.

You won’t have the satisfaction of feeling outraged. You won’t know the euphoria of feeling right. You won’t be noticed, acknowledged, interviewed, or appreciated…

It’s worth it.

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Yes, My Carpet Is Beige. How Are You?

I took some tests last weekend

And got results today.

The good news: I’m not pregnant

And my blood pressure’s okay,

My cholesterol is healthy

And my IQ’s 121.

The bad news: My personality test

Indicates that I have none.

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Wake Me Up When September Ends

Some may think it’s pretty neat,

But I just think its’s strange,

That there are people in the street

Protesting climate change,

Demanding that reality

Conform to how they view it

And thinking politicians

Have the tools with which to do it.

Meanwhile, folks RSVP’ed

To commit a federal crime

Via Facebook, storming Area 51.

(This stanza ends with a rhyme)

I think that this September

Is as dumb as a month can get,

But then I smile and remember…

It hasn’t ended yet.

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Really? Really.

In the news: 007 is a black lady

And a million people attack area 51.

Neither endeavor is likely to succeed

But at least “Seein’ dem aliens” will be fun.

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I Want To Be A Journalist Now

Some folks say women and men.

Some say females and males.

I say:

Some lives have a destination.

Some lives are about the journey.

Some people like kisses.

Some people prefer hugs.

Some are busy writing:

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The Morning News

Good morning, I’m your anchorman

Stu Earlyforme.

Today, Beverly Hills, 90210

Cleveland Browns, 3.

In an unrelated story

UPS has hired

For delivering heavy packages

River, a female tiger.

Though mostly quite successful

She’s been criticized of late. These

Critics say its dangerous

When the tigress River meets yo’ freight needs.

A new study from Harvard

Indicates the transgender switch

Can give patients speech impediments.

It’s titled “Man or Myth?”

And finally porn star ventriloquist

Ada Youknowwhat faced rejection

When pitching her new sitcom

Entitled “Yeast Inflection.”

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Sonnet: How It Feels To Not Log Onto Facebook For 48 Hours

As the stars align in the Summer sky,

As one century turns into the next,

So do we give thanks Bruce Jenner’s a guy

And people still call when, tempted, they might text.

We’re thankful that the world is small and flat,

That European powers rule it all.

Perhaps above all else we’re thankful that

No team would play with a deflated ball.

Yet as we smile, gratef’ly reminiscing

We dream of a future where a black man

Can be elected president, dissing

The establishment, saying “yes we can.”

And so we sleep comfortable in our world

Never suspecting it could be unfurled.

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