Three Wholesome Jokes (Almost)

He started as a humble sponge

Used to being ignored.

Then he got famous, his ego grew,

And he became self-absorbed.

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I picked up a hitchhiking balloon

Who was waiting at a bus stop.

I asked what sort of music he liked;

He said “Anything but pop.”

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My relationship: I wanted to end it.

I told my girl “I want to be independent.”

In her right jacket-pocket

She had my photo in a locket

And said “You are… in de pendant!”

…So I killed her.