If you’re rude to the people
Who print drivers’ licenses
They have a pretty cool trick:
They take a photo
Of your face
But actually it’s a dick pic.
Tag Archives: Stupid
Not The Solution We Need, But The Solution We Deserve…
Thousands of New Yorkers
Are dying every day,
Yet no one has the courage
To step on up and say
“Send every smart-mouthed teenager
“Some radioactive Purell.”
We could have superheroes by now
But the government says “Oh well…”
Filed under Poems
I Was So Upset, I Didn’t Even Write the Next 2.5 Stanzas!
A man sold me some wood the other day.
He said “This is the best you’ll ever get.”
But when I set the wood on fire I saw
Cars painted on the sides, and knew ’twas shit.
Filed under Poems
Sick Jokes Man!
Unlike aids, ebola, and most cancers of the spleen
People make a lot of jokes about Covid-19.
Maybe if we isolated people with a tumor
We’d find the situation full of all new types of humor?
Filed under Poems
Keeping Your Head Above Water
I bought a fish named Clem on Tuesday
And by Wednesday he was dead.
I bought a fish named Joe on Thursday
But hid him under my bed.
Joe is living happily
Unlike poor, stubborn Clem
Who saw guys on TV and challenged himself
To hold his breath like them.
Filed under Poems
Wardrobe Malfunction
Yesterday I was responsible:
Got dressed, and went to work.
Just ’cause I mixed the order up
Doesn’t mean I’m a jerk…
Filed under Poems
How To Offend Everyone In Eight Lines Or Less
She drove like she was asian.
She swam like she was black.
She jumped like a caucasian
With a dolphin on her back.
She wasn’t good at anything;
If she tried, she’d fail
But she was still ten-times better
Than every straight white male.
Filed under Poems
