Tag Archives: Stupid

The Power Of Education

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

This poem is boring;

Let’s see what a PhD will do…

Rosoideae are vermillion,

Their brethren, cyan.

I choose to eschew the quotidian

Because, demonstrably, I can.

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How My Mind Works 27 Minutes Before A Deadline…

Certain things sound like

Exactly what they mean

Like soy latte, pumpernickel,

Kitty, spoof, and spleen.

Other words were chosen

Without their meaning in mind

Like crepe, seizure, pumpernickel,

And the “pay me” version of “fine.”

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Wake Me Up When September Ends

Some may think it’s pretty neat,

But I just think its’s strange,

That there are people in the street

Protesting climate change,

Demanding that reality

Conform to how they view it

And thinking politicians

Have the tools with which to do it.

Meanwhile, folks RSVP’ed

To commit a federal crime

Via Facebook, storming Area 51.

(This stanza ends with a rhyme)

I think that this September

Is as dumb as a month can get,

But then I smile and remember…

It hasn’t ended yet.

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Jurass-is-Grass

The Tyrannosaurus Rex

Was stalking the jungle

And feeling incredibly violent

When, soundless and yellow,

Urine hit the fellow

For the Pterodactyl’s pee is silent.

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Watching the Debates

What you need to know about ducks

Is not as important as the fact

That every day a million fish

Are, by some birds, attacked.

Those fish cannot defend themselves

Against these violent birds

And it’s time for us to take a stand

And learn to use our words.

When I held political office

In a non-avian related capacity

I realized that my constituents

Viewed me as a guy with some sagacity.

Because of that, I make my case

That fish deserve love too

So vote for me in 2020

And also ducks. Thank you!

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The Least Surprising Story Ever

The gender-neutral pronoun

In the english tongue is “he”

According to the Chicago Manual of Style.

A person on the internet

Disagreed with me.

He was a vegan 49ers fan named Kyle.

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Vaping

I said “People love dying of cancer

“And stinky electrical stuff.

“Why don’t we combine them?”

Then the corporations called my bluff.

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