Tag Archives: Stupid

Taste Optional

I saw an advertisement

For a poetry group today

Inviting folks to “come and read

“A poem that stabs the heart,

Reveals a truth or sadness,

Or helps you shout hooray.”

I was not well received

By reading “Ode to a Fart.”

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The Humpback

If you’re a man trying to hump

A large marine mammal that’s male

If it humps back you may have found

A homosexuwhale.

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This Poem Is Brolken

I wanted to make a polka joke

To show I am a funny folk

Then I drank a diet colk

So instead I told a polka jolk.

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The Four Elements: A Modern Myth

In the domain of clouds and bursting sun

Lived Lychlorida, daughter of the sky.

In thermals and in tailwinds she’d run,

A sister to all birds and things that fly.

In green and blue and black oceans and seas

Lychlorida sent rain to her brother,

King of water, born of a river breeze,

The second child of their divine mother.

Beneath ocean and sky, sister enflamed,

Deity of fire where the earth’s plates grind,

Asked why only Lychlorida was named

(Although she found she really didn’t mind).

And last, on Earth, the fourth child, king of stone

Knew none of this; He just played on his phone.

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One Thing Most Of You Will Never Have To Worry About

If you’re ever taking a walk

And you’re an amateur mime named Jean-Jacques

You’d be an unlucky bloke

If you had a stroke

But oh, how the viewers would talk!

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St. Patty’s Day

Today we drink and wear green clothes

And that’s just about it.

I hope I’ve helped to illustrate

Why this holiday is shit.

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Why I’m Homeschooled

I knew not how to spell “Schism”

And so I took a wild guess…

“I-t-apostrophe-s-P-

o-i-n-t-l-e-s-s.”

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