Tag Archives: Stupid

The New Normal

Conforming is courage.

Sameness is unique.

Silence is violence

So we all must speak,

But if you speak other

Than what we agree

The only conclusion

Is patriarchy!

Everyone’s special

Except for the whites

And all men, plus women

Who want to have rights.

Such people are dangers

To our peaceful views

Unless they are silenced

By endless bad news.

“The truth” is old-fashioned.

“Your truth” will prevail.

If there are no winners

Then no one can fail!

So dye your hair purple

And get your tattoos

And be one of us rebels

Who share the same views.

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This Is (Insert B-List Celebrity Here) Reminding You That Good People Don’t Bomb Each Other

I’m sitting here in the airport

Listening to celebrities giving PSA’s

And I’m wondering which is more painful:

Selling out that much

Or that my taxes paid for them.

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Today’s White House News

Today a man who made himself

And all his staff exempt

From being vaccinated

Most audaciously has dreamt

That those who didn’t get a shot

That doesn’t stop the spread

Are somehow the ones responsible

That twelve more folks are dead.

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Women Will Change You

There once was a man named Beyoncé

Who wanted to have a fiancee

But the girls were all like

“Why’s your name not like ‘Mike?’”

Now he goes by his middle name: Chauncey.

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Okay Zoomer

In the future, little kids

Will visit their Grandma’s houses

And bring along 3D-printed candy

And all four of their spouses

And in between rounds of “Doom 35”

Grandma will tell the tale

Of how when she was a little boy

It was hip to say “epic fail.”

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Poor Guy…

I think if you want

Your kid to not be pitied

Name him “Nography.”

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Middle Class White People

Today I drove home on a road full of cracks

Past a tent city filled with the needy

To hear how the state gave 85 billion

To terrorists, but somehow I’m greedy?

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Excuses, Excuses (Published August 20th Wink wink yay time zones)

Tonight I went to Alaska

In my imagination

For a very lively

Nine-minute vacation.

The reason that I took

Was to say that it’s alright

And my daily streak’s unbroken

Thanks to an imaginary flight.

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The Nasty Aftertastes Of Society That Won’t Go Away

I feel like at this point

Most people would agree the

Invention of social media

Was a really bad idea,

While at the same time saying

“We can do nothing about it”

And most of those agree

That they could not live without it.

The same has gone for junk food,

Fancy coffee, cigarettes:

We consume them faster

Than we process our regrets.

I look forward to the day

When we look at that list

And add the important footnote

That governments shouldn’t exist.

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[Title Redacted]

There once was a poet-slash-spy

Who was quite the mysterious guy.

He’d write the last thing he’d think

In invisible ink

.

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