Welcome to airport security
Where we protect your flight
From older moms with manicure kits
And from folks who are being too white.
Our job is to look through your undies
To find the board game that you packed
Because some guy before you were born
Didn’t get good intel on Iraq.
We’ll never be happy to see you
And we’ll make sure you feel the same way.
Now go to your flight that was cancelled
And let us get on with our day.
Filed under Poems
Sometimes your mind ignites
And you put together the pieces,
Assembling a master plan
Or assembling an ingenious thesis.
Other times your mind fixates
On a rather more simple idea.
One of these is called an epiphany;
The other is called an Ikea.
Filed under Poems
Weiting poetry
Is something not to do
When driving down the higheay
At around 102
And yet it makes a great excuse
For lazy guys like me
To not edit my tpoes
Before I publish what you see.
Filed under Poems
The Samurai saw a leather hat
With bills to block the sun
And said (probably in Japanese)
“That does not look so fun.”
So the cowboys took it
And thus the West was won
And I would wisely wager
That’s why the Samurai are done.
Filed under Poems
What if we made some bread
That tastes like boring sugar
And made it into a straw
With a texture like a booger
And named it after an herb
That’s entirely unrelated?
Turns out it’s a best seller
And that’s why I’m frustrated.
Filed under Poems
A is for abbreviation
Which means shortening things.
Z is for zat’s all folks,
Now go do kid things.
Filed under Poems
AI is a tool
Like search engines without ads.
Also, it has ads.
Filed under Poems
“Can we all agree…”
“No! You didn’t vote like me!”
“…That kittens are cute?”
Filed under Poems
Whoever decided “Present”
Should mean both “gift” and “now”
As well as “here” like “I am here”
And “here” like “take this cow”
Should be presented with a present
If they’re present in the present
‘Cause their presence in the past
Makes the present present as unpleasant.
The Daily Travesty 