Tag Archives: Stupid

Why Not .03 Per Cent? FALSE ADVERTISING!!!

Today I saw one per cent milk

And so I gave my mom a holler.

Turns it it’s just crappy milk,

Not 100 milks for a dollar.

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He’s The Best At Reverse Psychology

If the pro-lifers want to win

They just need Trump to say

“Abortion is a bigly good

“And also I’m a gay.”

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It’s Only Right You Suffer For My Mistakes

Yesterday I wrote two poems.

I feel like a dunce.

I meant one to be published tomorrow (today?)

But it got published at once.

Because of my mistake that day

You must hear me now annunc…

Iate. Yes, this poem is pointless

And every other line rhymes with “grunce.”

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This Is Probably Sexist…

Science has concluded

That for most life on earth

The number of penises you have

Is inversely correlated with your odds of giving birth.

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Scandinavia

Somebody was like

“What if we wrote ‘SKJ’

“And pronounced it like ‘sh?'”

And another guy was like

“When Hell freezes over.”

And I was like

“Nor way man!”

Also hockey, socialism, and vikings.

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That’s Why My Nickname Is “Fish Lips”

My dad has the heart of a lion.

My mom has the heart of a gnu.

Sure, my dad has better taste

But they’re both banned for life from the zoo.

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When You’re Not Picky About Who You Befriend

My friend has 70 statues of legs.

I don’t know how he got ’em,

But I know if he ever spanks a statue

He’ll likely hit rock bottom.

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