Tag Archives: Stupid

Harrr Harrr Harrr…

I found myself marooned

Off the coast of Kansas (somehow)

And saw another pirate was near.

He was selling corn

So I asked about the price.

He said “You’ll only pay a buccaneer.”

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A Pun Not Worth It’s Setup

I jumped in a pool

And grabbed a flotation device,

But that floating noodle

Turned out to be lead.

I don’t know

How it managed to fool me

But, thanks to that impasta

Now I am dead.

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Concrete Washington: Folk Hero (Or Just Denzel’s Brother)

Indiana Jones was a big success

(Until 2008).

You have to wonder if similar names

Would enjoy a similar fate

Like Alaska Round, detective

Or Iowa Guysummoney?

Idaho Youhadhertoo?

Would people find these funny?

Kansas state thing be abused

Or must we resort to towns

Like Helena -West Helena Johnson

Or, better yet, Cleveland Brown?

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Seven Crappy Little Poems I Wrote At 11:48 Last Night

Confederate Secrets

A lot of slaves were literate

Or so I’ve been told.

I wonder if they ever read

“Chicken Soup for the Sold?”

America’s Digital Security

Obama’s password:

PASSORD

Note: No “W”

Our Beloved President

Since I have a Lamborghini

They don’t care that my dick’s teeny.

Facebook

I like… like “like-like…”

Liking, like, likes I, like, like.

You’re, like, welcome. lol

Christian Bakeries

I was going to buy a baguette

But they thought I was a faggot.

Nothing awful happened though.

They kept their bread. I kept my dough.

Technically Accurate…

If you like corn on the cob

There’s a very small chance you’re part of the mob.

Hell

If you want a drink in Hell

You’ll find you have to go

To that one drinking fountain

With the insufficient flow,

And French-kiss the rusty spigot

That’s soaking wet with drool.

Satan got the idea

From your local middle school.

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When You Should Have Stopped After The First Weird Limerick

If you grew a six-foot long beard

You’d probably think it was weird

But after a while

You’d probably smile

And think “This ain’t as bad as I feared.”

And if a six-foot beard grew you

It would not know what to do

Because shaving’s a pain

And beards don’t have a brain.

These dilemmas are why I’m not a jew.

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Guest Poem By JJ Abrams (Almost)

What do you call a shark with no eyes

Or an angel pouring red wine?

The answer’s big-budget

But in the end I just fudge it

‘Cause I couldn’t think up a punchline.

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Dumbledore and Me

As Dumbledore once said

When called upon to speak:

“I have a few words to say:

“Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak.”

These words describe my mental state

It’s been that sort of week.

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