I saw an advertisement
For a poetry group today
Inviting folks to “come and read
“A poem that stabs the heart,
Reveals a truth or sadness,
Or helps you shout hooray.”
I was not well received
By reading “Ode to a Fart.”
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Tag Archives: Stupid
The Humpback
If you’re a man trying to hump
A large marine mammal that’s male
If it humps back you may have found
A homosexuwhale.
Filed under Poems
This Poem Is Brolken
I wanted to make a polka joke
To show I am a funny folk
Then I drank a diet colk
So instead I told a polka jolk.
Filed under Poems
The Four Elements: A Modern Myth
In the domain of clouds and bursting sun
Lived Lychlorida, daughter of the sky.
In thermals and in tailwinds she’d run,
A sister to all birds and things that fly.
In green and blue and black oceans and seas
Lychlorida sent rain to her brother,
King of water, born of a river breeze,
The second child of their divine mother.
Beneath ocean and sky, sister enflamed,
Deity of fire where the earth’s plates grind,
Asked why only Lychlorida was named
(Although she found she really didn’t mind).
And last, on Earth, the fourth child, king of stone
Knew none of this; He just played on his phone.
Filed under Poems
One Thing Most Of You Will Never Have To Worry About
If you’re ever taking a walk
And you’re an amateur mime named Jean-Jacques
You’d be an unlucky bloke
If you had a stroke
But oh, how the viewers would talk!
Filed under Poems
St. Patty’s Day
Today we drink and wear green clothes
And that’s just about it.
I hope I’ve helped to illustrate
Why this holiday is shit.
Filed under Poems
Why I’m Homeschooled
I knew not how to spell “Schism”
And so I took a wild guess…
“I-t-apostrophe-s-P-
o-i-n-t-l-e-s-s.”
Filed under Poems
