Tag Archives: Stupid

War Isn’t So Bad…

We’ve walked among some Autumn glades

Just us and the wind from the helicopter blades.

Falling gently to the ground

Are a leaf and some limbs and an M16 round.

A quaint little creek

Glitters bright mountain green

And, despite all our blood,

Is still cool fresh and clean.

We came here to camp,

Found these meadows to walk,

Because some old men

Wouldn’t sit down and talk,

But we can take solace

And our hearts can still sing

All thanks to the peace

That our murder will bring.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Shucka-Shucka-Sucka! (Shucks?)

I once knew a Moroccan

Who thought that I was shockin’.

I gave him a shake

To see what sound he’d make

And he said “That’s a maraca, dumbass!”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Thanks, Arbitrary Statistics!

A minute with me

Is an hour in Heaven,

But no woman will know

‘Cause I’m five-foot-eleven.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Meanwhile Someone Is Eating Water And Watching Their IQ Rise

The roses are dead.

The violets are too.

Someone swapped the water

With adhesive glue.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

😎 and 🦑 are 🥇 right now

We’ve seen names with apostrophes

And names that lack a vowel.

We have seen surnameless names

Like Retta, Link, and Farrel.

We’ve seen whatever Prince’s name

Had been known as previously.

I just hope I get to be the first

To name a kid with an Emoji.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Problem With Quotes

Just because a wise man said it

Doesn’t make it wise.

A wise man says “No bacon for me,”

But, plot twist! He eventually dies.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

100% True

This poem is like

A blue-footed booby:

It makes some people laugh

And won’t have any significant impact on your life…

Shadooby.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems