People on the street
Waving Confederate flags
Say “You lost, move on.”
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Tag Archives: Short
All I Want For Christmas…
If you ever give me a puppy
I want you to name it “Trollop”
So I can shout “Trollop”
At the top of my lungs in the park
And not go to prison.
Filed under Poems
There Is No Hidden Meaning. You’re Welcome.
I met an Indian guy on Tinder,
A philosopher named Deepinder.
I couldn’t understand most of what he said
So he said “Date my brother Shallowinder instead.”
Filed under Poems
This Is a Poem Defying Negative Social Outlooks Towards Men For Innocent Behaviors, Specifically “Mansplaining”
I’m often accused of “mansplaining”
When what I teach just isn’t landing.
But never once have I met a woman
Who I accused of womanunderstanding.
So why do we assume that men are spreaders
And not that chicks on buses seem to shrink?
I await answers with manticipation
‘Cause I’m curious to know what women think.
Filed under Poems
The Making Of Shrek 3 (‘Cause 1 and 2 Are Genius)
There once was a movie
That featured a fart
And, in children, it inspired laughter.
And so it was decreed
That fart jokes were a need
In all movies for children thereafter.
Filed under Poems
But Please Don’t
If I were a flamingo, um…
You wouldn’t be reading this poem.
If I were a beaver
You wouldn’t be reading it either.
If I were a yak
You’d have the last 10 seconds back.
But alas I am a human
So if you want to sue me, you can.
Filed under Poems
Rescue Animal Used Bite: It’s Super Effective!
The animal lovers called it
“A barbaric dog fighting cabal.”
I called it “Well meaning people
“Who haven’t discovered Pokemon Go.”
Take that vegans!
Filed under Poems
