Tag Archives: Short

This Is What Happens When You Don’t Click “Like”

I’ve worked hard the past few days

But this is not my work that pays

And thus I write one stanza here.

Go read the stuff I wrote last year.

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A Poem for Folks Who Specify Their Pronouns

Roses are violet

And violets are rose.

That’s what they said,

So I guess that’s what goes?

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To Infinity… And Beyond

Here’s the latest quandary

That kept me up all night:

I thought I was bad at self-evaluation

And it turns out I was right…

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American Political Redux

Trumpty Dumpty built us a wall.

Trumpty Dumpty polled well in the Fall,

But an army of lawyers, Fox News, and white horses

Couldn’t stop CNN and “Anonymous Sources.”

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When Movies Aren’t In Chronological Order

Dab and Deb were walking

To meet up with Dib and Dob.

(Dub was nowhere to be seen).

Then Dab began to sob.

The first sentence is the beginning

And the third one is the ending.

Someone said “Smack Dab in the middle of it.”

Now wasn’t that mind-bending?

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This Poem Rhymes If Your Accent Is Creative Enough

There once was an American skier

Who fell off a Canadian pier.

He yelled, “I broke my foot!”

Some bystanders asked, “What?”

Then one said, “Oh! His one-third of a meter!”

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‘90s Kids Won’t Get This Joke

Dr. Pepper was hit by an iron

He recently confessed.

When asked how he was feeling

He said “I’m soda pressed.”

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Another Perspective…

The top one-percent of earners

Make $585 K.

The minimum NFL salary

Is $615,000 today.

These 0.95-percenters

Complain about being oppressed

And wonder why their unemployed fans

Are anything less than impressed.

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A Blue-Blooded Joke for a Red-Blooded Folk

Of terrible jokes

This is but one of a myriad:

Both Picasso and the Princess

Have had a blue period.

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Two American Legends

Yankee Doodle went to town

Riding on a pony.

He stuck a feather in his cap

And called it macaroni.

Yankee Doodle was confused,

Perhaps ’cause of the ridin’,

And his random speech habit

Got picked up by Joe Biden.

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