Tag Archives: Short

Happy Birthday (And You Smell Like One Too)

Jubilations on the most recent anniversary

Of your extra-uteral emergence into the nursery.

Your visage has an undeniable simian similarity

And your olfactory signature is also resemblant, although cursory.

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Still More Fun Than Watching Soccer

I want to play rock-paper-scissors

Where scissors beats rock, ’cause then

Everyone would always choose scissors

And it would make the game more “zen.”

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When You Break The 11th Commandment

There once was a womxn from Berkeley

Who acted rashly and berserkly.

Zhe drove a non-hybrid car

To an all-vegan bar.

These micro-aggressions were carried out jerkily.

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But Why?

The road told the rooster

“You look like a hen.”

The rooster killed the road’s family

And it never crossed the chicken again.

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The Humpback

If you’re a man trying to hump

A large marine mammal that’s male

If it humps back you may have found

A homosexuwhale.

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Starched Contrast

“Iron Man” is a hero

Who shoots lasers from his hand.

He has no female counterpart…

“Iron Woman” is a command.

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More Deep Thoughts

Living a happy and comfortable life

Is like eating a lot of chocolate:

It makes you fat and kills you slowly

But it’s totally worth it.

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