I weigh half a ton,
Run as fast as a race horse,
Plus I’m snuggly
Tag Archives: Short
Dear Car Insurance:
When you have to advertise
Something that everybody buys
Perhaps it would be wise
To consider how the company lies?
Filed under Poems
Ou Vous Avez Un Accent Sympa
Si vous comprenez
Vous avez traduisé bien
Avec le Google
Filed under Poems
To Repel or To Attract?
We go camping and spray our bodies
With chemicals to keep mosquitoes away,
But maybe instead of repelling them, we
Should hang photos of sexy mosquitoes, ok?
Filed under Poems
Gyms and Churches Unite!
What if we sold folks
A place they don’t want to go
Then shamed them for it?
Filed under Poems
Too Young For MySpace, Too Old For Empathy
When I hear the word
“Instagram” I always think
“These damn kids today…”
Filed under Poems
See Also: Locusts, Floods, Lightning Strikes At Political Rallies…
A zombie apocalypse would be bad,
But if it was just a month or two
We’d probably see society improve
For the ones who made it through.
Filed under Poems
Holy Cow
People will say “Jesus Christ”
“God Damn” and “Heaven Forbid.”
Meanwhile, there’s just some bull out there
Who’s wondering what he did…
Filed under Poems
But We’re All Focused On Laser Guns Instead…
The whole Harry Potter idea
Where everyone owns an owl
Might not be super practical
But it would wipe away my scowl.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 