Instead of sending crooks to jail
What if we made them eat kale?
I think they’d say that I’m a hero
For the idea that reduced all crime to zero.
Tag Archives: Short
Hogwarts, 2021
If you think a Banshee’s scream is bad
You have never heard
The scream of the mythical Banthey
When one’s been misgendered.
Filed under Poems
Sorry Mr. President, But You Can’t Come Back To Disneyland
Everything was going well
Until I ate that Taco Bell…
For one glorious ride I was a fountain
In the very first car upon Splash Mountain.
Filed under Poems
It Was A Valiant Effort At Least…
There once was a poet I knew
Who wrote poems at 11:52.
Tonight he was inspired
To write before he got tired
But, alas, tonight’s poem sucks too…
Filed under Poems
That Which Is Not Convoluted May Lack Bewilderment… So Yeah
I’m sporadically baffled, befuddled, and vexed
When traversing a sum of obfuscated text.
Otherwise, sometimes I feel the need
To say in plain english “This is hard to read.”
Filed under Poems
When You Ask Them To Say “Cheese” And They Say “Take The F***ing Picture Already”
A thin grin, a smile with guile,
A false upward turn of the lips:
Needless to say, if you know a way
To take good family photos, share tips!
Filed under Poems
Small Blessings
Today we give thanks
For what makes us happy:
A person, a memory, a song…
If you ain’t got nothing
For which to be thankful
Be thankful this poem ain’t long.
Filed under Poems
By Reading This Limerick You May Or May Not Open A Parallel Universe
There once was a cat of Schrodinger
Who wanted to give science the finger.
He said “I will stay
“And also walk away.”
Thus he simultaneously did and did not linger.
Filed under Poems
OMG Dad, Why Can’t You Understand Vulture Is A Student Of The World?
Their wonce was amen from Bolder
Hoo new mai dotter end tolled hurr
“Eye a door ewe, Amanda
“‘Cause u un-derstanneduh
“Spelling sin the I of de beholdre.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 