Tag Archives: Short

Both are Mostly Empty…

“Airhead’s an offensive term,”

Said my girlfriend of 30 days.

I said, “Sorry, didn’t know.”

Now I call her “Bag of Lays.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Oh No… OH NO!

I wondered what the worst news ever could be

And I finally have an answer:

It’s hearing your wife of 70 years

Tell you she has testicular cancer.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Why Adults Matter

Life is an X-Rated video game

And we are the gigantic foes

That stop young players from seeing things

Until their character grows.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

What Being The Coolest Kid In 3rd Grade Sounds Like

Go-Gurt is yogurt

That’s put in a sleeve.

Here’s a tube of “Away Bro…”

Now why don’t you leave?

1 Comment

Filed under Poems

Criminal Justice 101

For those who aren’t aware,

Jail and prison are not the same.

To help remember which is which

You can play this little game:

If you piss off any cop

You’ll go to a jail cell.

If you’re either poor or black

You’ll go to prison as well.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

…That Was When Elon Musk Got A New Idea…

Some fear that robots will steal our jobs

But that’s not the future I see…

After all, what robot has the power

To turn any liquid into pee?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

A Bit of Hot Air

I used a hand dryer

In the public restroom

After I went to the beach.

I expected it

To dry my hands,

But it delivered a political speech.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

And Yet We Keep Voting For Them…

Politicians are like a bag of chips

That appear to be mostly air

But then they take the chips away

And say “You’re healthy now. See? I care!”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

It’s A Valid Question!

I’m no longer a member

Of the anime club

Because I asked Mr. Bushi

Whether Japanese mermaids

Would feel conflicted

If someone asked them to eat sushi.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Deshaun Recalls His Scholastic Endeavors

I didn’t learn much at public school

But I remember the important stuff

Like “Everything in the world is free

“If you can run fast enough.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems