Tag Archives: Short

Based On Actual Song Lyrics

Doowop, doowop.

Doowop bebop shadooby.

Wicky-wicky, chicka-chicka,

Doowoppa scooby dooby.

Boobop, baddop,

Badoppawop pizazz!

If you think this poem’s stupid

Then you REALLY must hate jazz.

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When I Meet One, We Will Be Soulmates

All the little animals

Of land and sea and air

Sought to find a one true love,

Their one and only pair.

The birds and bees, the cats and dogs,

The frogs and toads were one;

The hare and tortoise, horse and fly

Paired up and all was done.

Alas, when pairing finished

The axolotl was alone

Because instead of socializing

It wrote poems on its phone.

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SERIOUSLY?

‘Twas 31 days before Halloween

And all through the shops

Christmas music was playing…

Should I call the cops?

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Love Y’all, Good Night

I wrote 92 haikus on Tuesday

That apparently nobody read.

If you’re unsatisfied with this poem

Go read some of that crap instead.

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A Depends-able Workers

My boss said I’m incompetent

Because I visit the bathroom a lot.

Then I developed incontinence

And now visit that room I do not.

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True Love, 2022

Upon the sofa down we sat,

Eating ice cream, happy, fat,

Eyes on the TV, wearing no pants:

This is my ideal of romance!

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When You Need The Product To Use The Product

Today I bought a laser sword

That can cut through anything.

The only problem is that it’s in

The plastic Costco packaging…

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It’s My Birthday, So You HAVE To Like The Post

Today is the day if my birth,

When I first breathed the air of the Earth.

Because of my exodus

From my mom’s uterus

I now create poems with mirth.

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Garden My Turf, Yo

If I were a young urban strawberry

Whose life on the streets turned to robbery

You might think my booty

Would be stabby or shooty

But nope! My violence is clobbery.

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NEVER End A Line With “Buck”

Another evening passes

Like methane from our asses,

Like the motorist that passes

Bicyclists, slow as molasses.

It passes like a buck

And the fact that I wrote buck

Means I’ll spare you from future rhymes

Because you already get the analogy.

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