Tag Archives: Short

It’s All Short And Bald… And It Has Gills

I’ve decided to stop drinking water.

It’s controversial, of course,

But I made up my mind when I saw what comes

From adding “sea” to a horse.

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Haiku: When Someone Tells Me There Are More Than 2 Genders

Ha ha ha ha ha,

Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha.

Wait, there’s more… (pause)… Ha.

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When You Really Want To Do An Epic Rhyme But The Setup Is Bananas

There was a grammarian from Crimea

Who had a friend, Timmy Nadia.

Timmy N said “Gimme an

“Crimean simian”

And the grammarian said, “It’s ‘give me a.'”

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Actual MCU Pitch Meeting, Featuring Greek Food

There one was a film about heroes

That didn’t gross quite enough zeroes.

Disney said, “Make it funny

“And we’ll make way more money,”

Then the CEO ordered some gyros.

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Please Examine This Excel Graph And Identify The Precise Moment I Did Not Get Laid

I met a beauty in the lab

And we talked of time and space

And before the time had finished

We were walking to my place.

Things were getting steamy

And as she turned off the light

I said “This is like water

“Exceeding 212 degrees Fahrenheit!”

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When Gen Z Starts Procreating

If I ever have a baby

With the person I call “Honey,”

I will name it “In the Headlights”

‘Cause when we sing “Happy Birthday” it’ll be funny.

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For Everything There Is A Season

Some people say I’m not funny.

Some people say I’m just dumb,

But for years a grammatically-incorrect cat who wanted a cheeseburger was the funniest thing on Earth

So I figure my time will come.

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Instead Of Going Back In Time To Kill Hitler, Consider This Guy

“What if, instead of selling stuff

To people who will buy it

We interrupt TV and stuff

To talk about a diet,

A tv show, a sugar drink,

A car, or car insurance?

That should make folks love us,

Or at least that’s my inference!”

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And From There The Epic Fantasy Genre Was Born

Their once was a dude from the Shire

That an old wizard wanted to hire.

He found this cool ring

That messed up everything.

Three books later it died in a fire.

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Lonely Poem Appreciates Your Time 😊

Once there was a poem

That wanted to be read

But 7 billion people

Did something else instead.

If you are reading this

You make the poem smile.

It hopes you’ll come back again

To read it once in a while.

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