My family is here for the weekend.
My inspiration is not.
This poem has as much though into it
As people who name their dog “Spot.”
*Maybe
Tag Archives: Short
Further Proof That Dumb Names Are The Root Of All Evil
I wonder if Julius Caesar
Had been given a manlier name
He wouldn’t have needed to conquer so much
And the world would never be the same.
Filed under Poems
The Fantasy World Has More Normal Names For Its Cities
There once were some nerds from Puyallup
That imagined some monsters to wallop.
They played D&D
‘Til they passed level 3
And yes, that’s an actual place… Puyallup.
Filed under Poems
I Must Join Her, Salient Rhymes Be Damned!
There once was a beautiful woman
Who was my most favoritest human.
She needed to shower
And late was the hour
So I must do what I must be doin’.
Filed under Poems
Now Mr. Horns Needs Emotional Support Too… Freakin’ East Coast *@%*s
I tried to take my emotional support rhino
On my flight to NYC
But they said I had to buy another seat…
So much for body positivity!
Filed under Poems
Or They Might Just Be Cats… But I Feel Like This Gives These Deadly Predators Some Character
I wonder if the tigers at the zoo
Feel embarrassed when they have to poo
But they’re too proud for admitting
That they’re timid about shitting
And that’s why they always look so blue?
Filed under Poems
The One-Question Political Test
What is the answer?
a. Jesus
b. Patriarchy
c. Climate Change
d. Freedom
Filed under Poems
That One Episode Of Whatever Sci-Fi Show Had The Right Idea
I think we should legalize drugs
And make them free with dosage immense;
Everyone who wants drugs will be happy
And then die. I just think it makes sense!
Filed under Poems
Yeah… So Much For “Anything Can Happen”
There once were eight teams
With ambitions and dreams
Of competing for Super Bowl glory.
The boring teams won
And we didn’t have fun
And that’s today’s NFL story.
Filed under Poems
Ask Me About My School Lunch Policy
If I had a peanut
For every time I had a dark thought
There we be fewer kids with allergies
And crematoriums would profit a lot.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 