Tag Archives: Short

Poet Who Kicked Tires Hospitalized With Foot Injury

They said they found the car for me,

Right in my price range.

A week later I totaled it

When I got an oil change.

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Go Cry To… Oops

There’s nothing anyone can say

That won’t offend another.

For instance, if you say

That you live with your mother

Women call you loser,

Men will say you suck,

And orphans will be pissed

Because some guys get all the luck.

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So The Nuclear Button Might Bring Them Back?

Maybe, just maybe

Dragons aren’t here anymore

Because they breathed fire

But now the sky is full of air?

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Somebody Once Told Me…

I proudly draw a perfect circle

And then somebody screams…

“It’s a Venn Diagram of people born in the ’90’s

“And people who like to make memes!”

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When Your Roommate Asks You To Demonstrate Basic Hygiene, But You Demonstrate Basic Verbal Agility Instead

You told me, “Take the garbage out,”

And, I’ll admit, I tried.

Alas, your sister’s married

And refused to go outside.

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The Soy-Bacon of Vice

This evening I realized,

While sitting in the sauna,

Some people make a living

By baking food with marijuana.

So if you are a baker

It does appear to me

You’re basically just selling weed

With a cheaper recipe…

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Why Has No One Mentioned This Unsung Hero Yet? Conspiracy!

Amidst the “What the heck?s”

About kneeling for anthems and necks

One man has consistently stood tall:

That man is Neil Diamond,

Who protested against crime and

Didn’t change his name to “Stand.” That’s all.

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Bugging Out

There once were a fly and a flea

Who were healthy and lived in a tree,

Then they flew in a flue

And contracted the flu

And decided to, from the flue, flee.

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Strong Feelings Abound

I wrote a knock-knock joke

And put it on my page

But no one wrote to ask “Who’s there?”

Thus: My impotent rage.

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When You Have A Punchline But It’s Four Syllables Long…

Step one: Be God’s son

Step two: Write on stone tablets

And Step three: Prophet!

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