Tag Archives: Short

Sorry Salespeople…

No, I don’t want to be famous,

Don’t want to have power or wealth.

I don’t even want to be happy

Or have peace of mind or my health.

I don’t want a house or a garden,

Two kids and a white picket fence.

I’d give up all these and my brainstem

Just to not hear your two-cents!

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And I Realize I Should Have Forwarded Those Chain Emails After All

I stand atop the rocky cliff

Above the salty ocean blue

And shout to myself “how lovely

“And beautiful are you!”

I stand atop the rocky shore

Above the crashing waves below

And my echo calls back softly

“Whoa now! Let’s take this slow.”

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Nothing Good Stems From Small Talk… Get It? Stems?

I think I know why plants don’t speak

And the reason is this:

They cannot pronounce the word

“Photosynthesis.”

My other hypothesis

For why speech is elusive

Is that plants are politically moderate

(But evidence is inconclusive).

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But The Microwave Is Silver…

The pot called the kettle black.

The kettle thought the pot was a racist kind,

But then kettle saw that the pot was black too

And, quoth the kettle, nevermind.

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We Are The Sum Of Our Experiences

Have you ever seen a sunrise

And thought “that’s very yellow?”

Have you ever met a stranger

And known you do not know the fellow?

Have you ever started a poem

Without knowing how it will end?

If so I have to ask you

To stop trying to steal my identity.

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Why The French Make Good High-Rollers

You may look real classy

In your souped-up chassis

And yet prove to be asses

When you read “chassis” as chasses.

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That’s All He Had Time For

Today we bury the body of Joe

Who lived to 108.

He read the terms and conditions

And thus he is “the late.”

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