Tag Archives: Short

Oh, Also I’m Sick

Sitting on a bus

Waiting to go home.

I don’t feel creative at all.

The driver is gone.

If this moment were art

It’d be the plain red stripe on a hotel wall.

Dogs are pretty.

Pretties are not always dogs.

If you thought you’d be happy

With this poem’s conclusion

Reread the first two lines.

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Apparently Pearls And Swine Are Equal

A feminist told me

“All men are pigs!”

And I almost took some offense.

Then another told me

“Men and women are equal.”

Now the first woman’s making more sense.

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Not Really… #YOLO

Thirty-six hours in the hospital

And $17,000 dollars later

I regret my Halloween in Florida

And bobbing for that gator…

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And That Is Why Some People Shouldn’t Have Dragons…

If I get a pet dragon

(For business or for kicks)

I’ll hide it in my dungeon

And prob’ly call it Trix.

I’ll feed it little children

To give it a dragon’s fix,

But mostly for the privilege of saying

“Silly rabbit, kids are for Trix!”

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Now There’s A Joke!

Golf

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I Can Safely Write This Because She Doesn’t Read My Blog And Is Imaginary

Some sayings sound satisfying

But don’t apply to real life,

Like “what comes up must come down”

Doesn’t work for the weight of my wife…

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I Really Need To Move To The South Already…

You tell me not to use a straw

Because somewhere in the sea

A turtle was killed by floating trash,

Perhaps produced by me.

And somewhere I imagine

In the ocean, deep and blue,

A turtle chokes on a straw and is grateful

To not be dating you.

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