Tag Archives: Short

Irony’s Trump Card

People on the street

Waving Confederate flags

Say “You lost, move on.”

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All I Want For Christmas…

If you ever give me a puppy

I want you to name it “Trollop”

So I can shout “Trollop”

At the top of my lungs in the park

And not go to prison.

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There Is No Hidden Meaning. You’re Welcome.

I met an Indian guy on Tinder,

A philosopher named Deepinder.

I couldn’t understand most of what he said

So he said “Date my brother Shallowinder instead.”

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This Is a Poem Defying Negative Social Outlooks Towards Men For Innocent Behaviors, Specifically “Mansplaining”

I’m often accused of “mansplaining”

When what I teach just isn’t landing.

But never once have I met a woman

Who I accused of womanunderstanding.

So why do we assume that men are spreaders

And not that chicks on buses seem to shrink?

I await answers with manticipation

‘Cause I’m curious to know what women think.

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The Making Of Shrek 3 (‘Cause 1 and 2 Are Genius)

There once was a movie

That featured a fart

And, in children, it inspired laughter.

And so it was decreed

That fart jokes were a need

In all movies for children thereafter.

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But Please Don’t

If I were a flamingo, um…

You wouldn’t be reading this poem.

If I were a beaver

You wouldn’t be reading it either.

If I were a yak

You’d have the last 10 seconds back.

But alas I am a human

So if you want to sue me, you can.

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Rescue Animal Used Bite: It’s Super Effective!

The animal lovers called it

“A barbaric dog fighting cabal.”

I called it “Well meaning people

“Who haven’t discovered Pokemon Go.”

Take that vegans!

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