Tag Archives: Short

Microaggressions

I told my friend “good morning”

And they just said “morning” back

Which makes me wonder what I did

To deserve that sort of attack.

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He said “My pronoun’s potato

“Instead of he, him, and his.”

I mumbled “What isn’t a pronoun”

And he shouted “Yes, what is!”

——————————————————–

I ate dessert for breakfast

Though I don’t know how or why;

I made some scrambled eggs

But they identified as pie.

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Horror Movies

Steve wanted to scare me

So he said “Guess what’s groovy?

“In ten years they’ll probably

“Make Jenga: The Movie.”

I wanted revenge,

To give Steve what was due,

So I said, “In twelve years

“They might make Jenga 2.”

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Extremely Forced Naughty Jokes Are Tight!

It might mean very different things

When I say to my girlfriend

“I still can’t understand you,”

Followed by: “Come again?”

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Ish Matters

Calling someone squeamish

Is more complex than it may seem.

After all, when was the last time

You called someone a squeam?

If someone is Spanish,

Sorta shy-ish, or whatnot

You know exactly what they are

But what’s a squeam?

That’s what I thought!

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They Called It “Animal Control Headquarters”

I went to the zoo.

There was only one dog there.

It was a shih tzu.

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How My Mind Works 27 Minutes Before A Deadline…

Certain things sound like

Exactly what they mean

Like soy latte, pumpernickel,

Kitty, spoof, and spleen.

Other words were chosen

Without their meaning in mind

Like crepe, seizure, pumpernickel,

And the “pay me” version of “fine.”

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When Poetry Doesn’t Pay The Bills (Also, But My Books)

Today I made money

By performing tasks.

That’s why this poem’s late and bad

In case anybody asks.

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